struggle with socialism ...

दोस्ती भी एक धर्म है, विश्वास जहाँ खुदा है।
द्वेष,जलन,खेद,पतन हर भाव से यह जुदा है॥


Another year has passed and my social struggle continues. I am always blamed to be a very non social and some times even a very anti social guy. Don’t know up to what extent these perspectives are true. But the roots of friendship which is strengthen by same pains, sufferings and problem’s where same working place and unfamiliarity with the new system act as fertilizers and catalyst. But soon thorns are spread on the straight path of friendship due to difference in views, self praising and the tendency of dominance and leadership and “I am the best “concept. Ignoring ours faults and over hyping others fault. Ignoring others talent and over praising ours talent. Slowly block politics comes into the act and get nourished by personal disputes and communication gap. It is eutrophicated by back biting and back stabbing which surely reaches other’s ear in an amplified form.

So many times it deviates the concept of an ideal society in my mind. How can you manage to live in a company where every one dislikes you?? Every one having different perspective and prejudices about specific person and some times if you are neutral person then you are stretched like a spring from every side and eventually every block gonna blame you that you are not with them and always favour the other one. So without having any fault you become the primary culprit.

But still we never leave to be a part of society. All this –ve effects are easily nullified and compensated by the strong +ve effect of friendship. A feeling of warmth, intimacy and security is always with you when you are a part of any friendship circle. You are never alone. Your annihilators are also your healers. You have to be a flexible tree to sustain the greenery and beauty of friendship. Straight and rude trees are always cut and blown away by the storms of misunderstanding.

I never understand this that when misunderstanding is developed between people due to communication gap, why they avoid straight face to face talk to clear all the disputes and doubts. People keep on thinking from their own prejudiced mind and blame other without even knowing others intentions and criteria. Soon they avoid and ignore the other person and without any valid reason the delicate thread of friendship are broken. If again it is joined then there are always some knots in it.

रहिमन धागा प्रेम का, मत तोरहु चटकाय।
टूटे से फिर ना मिले, मिले गाँठ पड़ जाय।।

I’ll end the post by a poem written at 31st December 2007 dealing with similar circumstances and in hope of transparent relations in the upcoming year.



हँसते रोते एक और वर्ष गया बीत
अब गाओ खुशिओ और दोस्ती के गीत
बीता हुआ साल बहुत कुछ गया बदल
पंरतु फ़िर से उठ और जा सम्भल
विधाता तो हमेशा ही लेगा तेरी परीक्षा
सामना कर और सुःख की कर प्रतिक्षा
जब टुट गयी थी दोस्ती की क्च्ची डोर
क्यों हो गया था तू निराश, कमजोर
इतनें से सकट में डाल दिये हथियार
क्यो हताश हो मान ली हार
सुःख दुःख का तो चक्र चलता ही रहता
सह लिया जिसने उसी ने पायी सफ़लता
अपने मन मे आशाओं की ज्योति जला
मत सोच तेरे अपनों ने ही तुझे छ्ला
परिस्थिति को ही तु दे दोष
दुसरो की खुशी देख कर ले संतोष
मत रख अपने ह्र्दय में कोइ बैर भाव
वरना बीच मझधार में डुबेगी तेरी नाव
क्यो देता है दोष तु दुसरें को
पहले जीत अपने खुद के मन को
बस तू कर ले एक बार कोशिश
छोड़ अब भूल जा आपसी रंजिश
आ गया नववर्ष आशओं भरा
अपनी उम्मीदो पर उतर तू खरा
बता दे जग को तू क्या है कर सकता
तेरी ईच्छाश्क्ति के आगे कोई नहीं है टिकता
मै तो बस प्रार्थना ही कर सकता हुँ खुदा से
करना तो है सब तुझे अपने आप से
नव वर्ष पर उठ खड़ा हो बता दे सब को
क्या है तु क्यों जरुरत हैं तेरी जग को

KAL SE PAKKA ........

काल करी सो आज कर, आज करे सो अब
पल में परिलय होवेगि, बहुरी करेगा कब

Kabir must be having very kind intentions while he was writing this doha but he was not knowing that later new kind of species are going to generate who will find an logical excuse to escape this doha also. So we modified it as

अभी करे सो आज कर , आज करे सो परसो
परसो भी तू क्यू करे , जब पढे है बरसो ।

Let’s just begin from the very morning. I have to shave or have to bath and suddenly our lazy mind will say “I’ll do it tomorrow”. Tomorrow is the most optimistic word created as it helps us to escape and ignore the load and obstacles of present. If we want to live in present then we have to ignore the work load of present and the best way to do it is to put it on tomorrow.

Procrastination is the most treacherous and hazardous disease. And a major portion of unsuccessful people are victim of this disease. One with good determination and well power may leave alcohol and smoking but leaving procrastination is too tough, almost next to impossible. We are that much entangled in our temporary illusion reliefs that we keep on grinding our own legs with axe while enjoying this thrill but later it gonna hurt ourselves that much that we won’t be able to even walk … just forget running in this everlasting race of survival and winning.

An extract from MAHABHARATA says that once some one came to yudishthira and asked for something. Yudishthira was busy that time so he said that I’ll do it tomorrow. Bheem heard that and instructed all the servants to play music on ‘nagadas’. When yudishthira asked the reason bheem said that now you have conquered the time and death as you are sure you will definitely leave tomorrow and yudishthira realized his mistake. But we people keep on doing the same mistakes again. Leaving work on tomorrow thinking why to waste today’s joy and relief. Then repenting again and making temporary resolution if we are unsuccessful but we derail from our newly chosen right track soon.

After screwing the second mid sems also I realized that the secondary culprit is procrastination habit (primary is of course me)…. I don’t know that last time in which class I was not studying at the last time and since joining college I have stopped studying at the last night also. Making futile plans due to temporary euphoria generated after defeat but deviation again due to worthless temptations. I don’t know I’ll be able to recover from this dreadful disease or not but I’ll surely try my best to give it a fight. So aaj se facebook band, baker karma band , gappe marna band , mobile chalana band aur padhai KAL SE PAKKA ….

Stop forwarding sardar jokes..........

Diwali holidays….. The road becomes long and time very slow. I wanted to rush to my home as fast as I can but as it happens with me always, no bus or van was coming so I had to wait. Lots of autos were buzzing around me but as I’m not a part of VIP league I had to wait for the public transport. Suddenly an auto having an SARDAR driver came near me and asked where I had to go. I told him the destination and asked for the prize just for time pass. He said “give me only 5rs”. Perhaps he was returning to his home and hence he charged very low but the thing which impressed me about him was his talking accent and demeanor. He was very calm and polite and well mannered which usually the driver lacks. A strange respect I was developing for him suddenly the most disturbing instrument my cell phone cried again and it was a sardar joke. For the first time I didn’t laugh, instead I was feeling guilty.

The incident that opened my eye made me realize that it can happen only in India that we disrespect the most patriotic and self respected class of people. There is no point in spreading, forwarding and laughing on sardar jokes as they are one of the most developed and successful class in society. They dominate on entire market, run huge business and hotels all over the world. But spreading sardar jokes become more shameful act when we see the number of sardars in our military. Lots of sardar still joins our military to serve the nation and leave many glamorous careers which we common people can’t even dare. As kiran kher quote in ‘rang de basanti ‘ film “ punjab mein to har ma apne ek bete ko sena mein bhejti hai “. It’s a typical example of internal backstabbing where we weak our own pillar by disrespecting them.

I had read an extract few years back that once some students were traveling in a taxi. The driver was an old sardar. They started cracking sardar jokes to bully him but he stayed calm through out the journey. When they were paying him, he gave them a 1rs coin and said “ I listened all the jokes you were cracking on my community and I had a small task for you. Give this coin to any sardar beggar you encounter in this country”. 12 years has passed and that guy still has that coin which makes him feel guilty daily. The incident shocked me. Ohhh its amazingly true, sardars works on dhabas, drive trucks or any other vehicle , open some garage or repair shop but they never beg. I have heard that those who are unable are being feed by gurudwara’s where as in hindu community begging is a standardized profession. Lots of people physically and mentally fit still rely on others help as they are lazy and lack both self respect and well power.

I recently came to know about the real reason behind calling " sardar ji 12 baj gaye ". I don't know it is true or not but read somewhere that sikh dharam was protector of hindu religion and they used to attack mougles and other anti hindu communities at 12 o clock to save hindu women and treasure. So all hindus used to contact sikh army to save them and they usually attack at 12 O clock. Later some anti sikhs spread these words to tease them and we still promote the trend. So every time U said that u are calling for help to sardars but still it hurts them so please refrain from such acts.

So people don’t injure your own heart.. Bramhins never tolerate when they are called “ muft ka khane wale “ nor do baniyas when they are called miser. So it’s my request to all readers that don’t spread sardar jokes and messages and modify the content before forwarding it.

3 Crushes of my Life ... !!!!

Now it may be surprising news for many. Mayank sharrma and crush… can it be possible ? But yes it is possible, after all I am a normal man and it’s more a proof of my normality. “So how many crushes you have till now “ .. One of the most recently encountered question in past month so finally I decided to laminate and decorate the answer in a post.. Even for the first time I am not sure whether to write it or not. But let me be like an open book. If ever my autobiography is published, media will get good masala.

Umm from where to start? Let me rewind a bit my life. Mayank Sharma…… considered the most sincere and talented student since entering in this mugging system.. So when did it started? I am no any heir of kapoor family to begin love life from 2nd or 3rd class. All of my school life has this bizarre coincidence of making pairs of topper. So I was linked with the second topper of my class till 5th class before actually knowing the meaning of couple or pair. But it was a good feeling. To be explicit, a status symbol. Out of many students you were chosen to link ur name with the second topper. (guess I was lucky, the second topper looked cute that time :P )

So lets start with the first crush. Ironically I came to know about the meaning of word crush in 12th class but it began in my life in most probably 6th class when I was 10 year.And the first thing which impressed me was her percentage in 5th class lolz … marks are just like salary in real life. The more you have the higher your brand value is. I was the wounded tiger that time but my TRP soon reached the height after topping the terminal exam and she was the second topper. So as per the custom and rituals it was mandatory to link my name with her. I was not stable initially but gradually the attraction increased. All maturing boys and girls parted the way that time and we didn’t use to talk with girls. So we can just give gazes and tough looks to each other. We spent 3 years during which I topped she was second topper but haven’t even spoke more than 3 times for 3 seconds. I thought daily to talk with her but couldn’t do it due to shyness and my arrogance.

When I left school, her memories still came with me but faded away soon. I met her two years after in a party. She came and initiated a gossip. I was little nervous and shy and also full of attitude. So I didn’t responded very well to her at that time. Later I felt very guilty and this gave birth to a poet inside me. So I am thankful to my first crush that she nourished my poetic ability my only distinguishable hobby so far. Time just blurred her thoughts in mine, but still she is like a laminated photo preserved in my mental recycle bin.

My second crush was very short. In fact it doesn’t even deserve the word crush but as I have to give a matching title with “ 3 mistakes of my life” I have to include it. Once again it was a girl ( :P has to clear nowadays). A tom boy like arrogant yet beautiful and pretty girl. She was very fierce and vehement and have little dogmatic character. Due to this dominating qualities my crush on her soon got vanished but ironically after I scored 60 out of 60 in 5 tests continuously she had a crush on me ( now you realized the value of marks in student life :P ). Later we both quitted the coaching and happyzz ending.

Now the final crush. A virtual one which just shook my real life that much hardly that I am still shuddering. It was an exceptional one with many vehement repercussions on me that changed an emotional mayank into complete rude rough beast. It started online it propagated shortly online and finally the climax ( ? ) happened online. It started back at those worthless net addiction days of mine at zapak site. She was one and half year elder than me but used to care about me a lot( at least it seemed so ). It was unique in the sense that she was the first girl I talked very frankly after my sister. So it was very fascinating stuff for me. Talking and interacting with girls as hitherto they were alien species for me. But the film ended in the interval with out any climax. Unexpected end , just some sound of broken glasses , a silent seclusion and inner transformation. She inculcated new sense of practicality and ruthlessness in me and I am grateful for this. Like a rainbow she appeared in life after storms and faded away soon. But I keep on reopening these wounds to accelerate me. 3 years back mayank sharma had written a poem which was his only worthy possession that time, very personal but now its futile so it is meant to be public.


लिखने बैठा हुँ पर कैसे बताऊँ क्या हो तुम
मेरे मन की अधूरी तमन्ना हो तुम
पहली बारिश के बाद मिट्टी की महक हो तुम
मरुस्थल में हरियाली का एकमात्र अंश हो तुम
पत्तो से फ़िसलती ओंस की बुंद हो तुम
हिमालय की स्वच्छ निर्म्ल श्वेत बर्फ़ हो तुम
सूर्यौदय की पहली किरण हो तुम
झरने से गिरते पानी क विहमंग द्र्श्य हो तुम
नववधू की खिलखिलाती मुस्कान हो तुम
मेरे जीवन की इकलौती गजल हो तुम
मेरे जीवन की इकलौती आशा हो तुम
मेरी कलम असमर्थ है बताने में की क्या हो तुम
कितना नादान हुँ में कितनी महान हो तुम
इतना निराला व्यक्तित्व होने के बावजुद मुझे दोस्त कहती हो तुम
मेरी यही फ़रियाद है खुदा से सदा खुश रहो तुम
मेरी यही दुआ है सदा तरक्की करो तुम
मेरी यही प्रार्थना है बुलन्दियों के शिखर को छुओ तुम
मेरी यही इबादत है कभी दुखी निराश न हो तुम
क्युंकि चाँदनी में चमकता श्वेत संगेमरमर हो तुम

wait.. it is not the ending :P ... we are Indians and if the ending is gloomy the film is flop. So picture abhi baki hai mere dost :P ..... I just counted the crush which ended. But this player hasn't yet hanged his boot and I haven't counted the running crushes ... CHEERS !!!

I know what you said behind my back....

जो कुंठित थे तुम मुझ से
पीठ पीछे बोल आये
भूल बैठे सामने मेरे दो कान
पीठ पीछे मेरे हजार कान

So what you thought.... you would yell all of your frustration on mine behind my back in someone else ear and I won’t get to know all this…. How can you trust any one else if you yourself are not able to hide your emotions … In front I have two ears but behind my back I have dozens ear with amplifying capacities also. So beware next time before speaking anything about me coz I know each and every thing you said behind my back........

Before you quit reading let me make it clear this is not a personal blog but a piece of advice to all, that there is no point in backstabbing. No one in this present practical world is that much trustable that they will confine your private talks to themselves only. A little communication gap and all the poison you blow would disclosed to the world in an amplified form.

Now let’s get to the root of this backstabbing thing. The genuine cause is the evergreen comparing of people on one’s own illogical criteria. All of us wish that other person must act as per us. We never respect any one’s difference. If we are introvert and other one is witty then he is peculiar and must talk less. Vice versa case is also applicable. We love to judge others and make particular prejudices. And this prejudice propagates and enters into real world through our frustration and acts like backstabbing.

One needs to understand that as there are no similar finger prints so how can two people have exact same characteristics. Each one has the right to act according to them and we are no one to compel them to act as per us. If some one is acting wrongly then what’s the point in yelling behind ones back. We are just putting thrones at the bridge of our relation with them by doing this. Perhaps our suggestion may help the person to rectify his faults and improve his personality. At least we would be on safe side, as if any one hears from some ones else mouth then surely he would misinterpret and your relationship would spoil. Try to limit the conversations between you and other one only and stop the trespassing of any third person. Be transparent in any relation else your character would loose transparency.