Finding a soul mate has more or less became like finding a
job these days. We keep on honing our qualifications so that at the right time
we can attract our ideal partner. We have either found our soul mate or in
process of finding the soul mate and majority of our movies, literature, songs,
plays etc revolves around the same concept. Since childhood, we have watched
enough movies and serials and read enough novels to believe that somewhere
someone is waiting for us and subconsciously we get obsessed by this thought. We
feel inferior if we fail to find someone, we feel we lack something or we are
good for nothing. We start comparing our life with the life of those who have
already found someone and start to believe that we would stay ‘forever alone’
because of our inherent ability to repel others.
Let us access the situation one more time. So we are alone,
may be alone forever or just got over someone and in the process of healing. Every time we go to take a
walk we see couples holding hands and we feel bad, we go to movies and see
couples watching it together again we feel bad, to make situation worse there
is valentine week where each day penetrates us deeply and reveal how lonely we
are as there is no one to buy us a chocolate, rose or a teddy bear let alone
the other advance things. Everywhere we go, we see deeply committed people
making each other realize their worth in other’s life and we feel there is
no one for whom you are important and no one who is important to you. In this big
big world, you are all alone with no one caring about you. You are alone, sad,
helpless and there is no one to comfort you or to stop your tears.
Now let us move on from this melodrama and think a bit realistically.
When we are desperate we see only the good side of things we don’t have and
never appreciate the blessings we already had. The cute couple you see might
have broken up 10 times, most of their time is spent in fighting, bitching,
complaining and comparing. Some of the couples you see might not be couples at
all, one person may be friendzoned forever and just playing the role of an acting
partner and trust me his/her life would be much more painful than yours. Grass
is always greener on the other side and many committed people regularly
contemplate about being single again. Now let’s look back at your life, you
might not have someone who sends a ‘good night’ message to you every night but
there might be few friends who call once in a week to ensure you are doing
good. There might be someone who is listening to all your whining of being
single and helping you to stay positive. There might be someone who is
comforting you by saying that the right person will come at the right time. You
might be blessed with more than one person who are affected by your life and
who plans to make your birthday special, who makes sure you have eaten when you
are sad, who celebrates your every success. Most people are not privileged to
have a good friend, a caring mother, a concerned father, a helping sister, a
defensive brother etc all these are blessings we always take for granted and
are never grateful about. Take sometime from your griefs and say thank you to
all who have made your life wonderful and you won’t feel alone ever.
Now let’s come back to the original problem of finding a
soul mate. The problem is these days that television has really made us filmy.
We have set too high parameters for our ideal match and we have a tendency to
reject people who fall short of any criteria. Every girl is looking for an ‘Edward
Cullen’ and every guy is looking for an ‘Emma Watson’. We have turned life into
a fairy tale where we are waiting for a prince or a princess and every other is
a side character. Television has made every face beautiful and attractive.
Everyone who falls in love is smart, beautiful, have a dashing body and genius
but in reality this is not the case. We have to accept humans as humans and not
as heroes and heroines. The novels we read, the movies we watch represent an
ideal situation which doesn’t exist. There is no ideal guy or girl who is
perfect but there are guys and girls with flaws. You have to accept their flaws
as they are also accepting your flaws in return. A soul mate is not about
finding a perfect person but about finding a person who makes the world perfect
for you despite your imperfections. A soul mate is not someone who is beautiful
but it is a person who makes everything look beautiful to you. A soul mate is
about finding a person who makes you feel complete.
Now look around and think for a while. You may never meet a
soul mate by a miracle but he/she may be just around you. Someone who was always
there. Someone who always cared when you were sad, someone who went great
distance of discomfort just to comfort you, someone who is first to wish you on
your birthday and arrange a good birthday party, someone who knows when to talk
to you and when to leave you alone, someone who openly criticizes you but
behind your back is always defensive. Someone who is ordinary, simple and
natural. He may not drive a ferrari, she may not be a sparkling diva. Someone
who is not a genius, but use his/her brain properly to make you feel happy. Don’t
look for heroes and heroines in life as they don’t exist, just search for the
unsung heroes and heroines of your life who you are ignoring just because they
do not match your filmy criteria of perfection.
Finding a soul mate is not as complicated as people have made
it and there is chance of bumping into wrong persons again a again but that is
life. Rarely we get what we are looking for in the first attempt. It’s all
about not giving up faith on life and hoping that we will find the right person
at the right time and for that you have to try and come out of your comfort
zone. You have to learn to give people chance, adjust for mutual good and if
not forgive and let people go. Real life is all about taking chances, failing,
healing and moving on. Life is about forgiving and forgetting and do not letting
one bad experience influence the future decisions.
Pursuit of soul mate is not a simple journey, but it’s a
beautiful journey before you reach your destination eventually. It’s a journey
worth having as it teaches a lot, makes you a strong person and it makes you
realize the worth of what you have. Happy Journey all !! J
