Yesterday I wrote my last examination as a student, so this
blissful moment right now is the most awaited moment of my life, at least from
the last 2 years. Finally being done with a course that has a physical,
emotional and mental toll, I don’t have the count of nights I spent fully
awake juggling between multiple tasks. The brain wrecking assignments, running
from one deadline to another, quizzes, exams, projects, GDs, interviews,
events, the mind is burdened with too much memories as a lot has happened in
last 2 years.
I started packing few hours back, collecting and classifying
everything, what I will take back and what I will leave here. Going through
all those books, notes and material one more time I tried to relieve all those
moments again. Running to classes with the notes in hand, or pulling an all
nighter getting immersed in these books, who was sleeping in the class when I
was writing this paragraph, who was playing with mobile, what was I thinking
when reading page no. 29. It’s interesting, how every day seemed to be a long
agonising journey with classes beginning from 9 AM and continuing till 9:15 PM,
clock just used to stop in the afternoon lectures with everyone trying to stay
awake somehow and now, at this moment right now, it appears as if all happened
in few seconds, BOOM. You slept properly on one fine Sunday of June 2015 and
the next time you opened your eyes, you are here with everything flashing
through your mind like a dream and I am trying to capture all these memories
before I forget them.
7262 is the exacted numbers of mail I received since joining
XLRI. There are mails of project details, forming groups for project, marks,
grades, company details, getting rejected in a process, committee dinners,
competitions, rules, events, mail threads where people appended their part in a
PPT or a report and many other things that were integral part of my life from
last 2 years. Checking the mail almost every hour and cursing our life because
of the deadlines was a daily routine. Now, in this very last moment the mailbox
is filled with mails requesting testimonials for people, testimonials for
people who I know completely and have spent major time span or testimonials for
people who are just added in my facebook as friends.
I was writing testimonials for people yesterday and that’s
the funny thing about writing testimonials or farewell message. You are
supposed to write only the good things, you just count all the happy memories
you have with a person and you put all the goodness that he/she exhibited in some
way and you write some lines describing him/her and the experience with him/her
as something worth cherishing which might not be the reality but this is how we
humans are. We want to end things on a happy note, we don’t want to carry any baggage
or have any grudge against anyone because this is the ending, you won’t be
seeing all these faces again, you won’t be talking with many of them again and
thus the compulsion of having +ve last moments. The thought in itself is not
wrong and that’s the reason I am writing this post.
Those who know me
know that I am the last person to get sentimental or nostalgic about the
college ending. In fact, this is something I always wished for; as from the day
I entered this college I knew that I am one of the most unfit person for this
course. I was never a consistent performer in my life, and MBA demands
consistency. Consistent hard work, consistent networking, consistent efforts in
extra curricular, consistent courage to step in outside and attend the classes when all you want is to get lock in your room and sleep. So much this course has changed me that
Mayank Sharma of 20 months back would hate this Mayank Sharma and vice verca, I
can’t even call myself a procrastinator now such was the impact of course on me, I
became a proactive person trying to finish everything as early as possible
because there is always a probability that last hour can come up with a new
deadline and then we have to firefight to an all new level altogether.
So, I had tough times, I was frustrated a lot, for a person
who always thinks different from the usual, questioning the status quo and
trying to be original, I find it hard to explain everything from a set of
frameworks or doing things in one or two particular way. For a person who has
habit of spending 2 hours tracing the route of river Ganges from origin till
ending or reading at 3 AM the role of Rasputin in Russian history, it’s hard to
concentrate on daily quizzes and study material. I am, in any way, not
questioning the course in anyway, this is another subject to debate on, but my
habits and style were completely different from what I was supposed to do, and
hence the struggle.
Along with the academic struggle, there was social struggle
too which starts from me avoiding the use of any ‘recreational substance’ which
is considered mandatory to network or essential for social inclusivity, I have
to find my ways in fitting in into a party where people’s imagination and
participation reached a new ‘high’ altogether. Sometimes I managed, sometimes I
chose to silently retreat inside my room so I wasn’t always able to make
everyone happy around me which also happened because of my continuous insistence
to get things done. I learnt the hard lesson that you can’t be a good person or
remain good in everyone’s book when you chose to become the guy who gets thing
done. This choice in itself will make you villain in many people’s life but
again someone has to be the bad guy and fortunately or unfortunately it was me
in most cases.
I can ponder over many things I did which I now think I
shouldn’t have done and vice verca. I took trouble over things that proved to
be completely unnecessary, I was hard on myself when it was not at all
required. I wanted to interact with some people just to get to know them more
which I never did. I wanted to learn few more things but I was too myopic to
get away with the temptation of improving things in hand. There are multiple
scope of improvements, but I am happy with the final version of what I have
become. I am quite contented with my achievements. I have set the bare minimum
expectations for me at the start and I was able to achieve a lot more than what I
thought I could and hence I am thankful to destiny and god.
There are numerous threads I can touch on but that I would
do in subsequent posts. Right now, at this very moment is not the time to find
faults or complaint. It is time to be thankful for this opportunity no matter how much hard
it was. It doesn’t change the fact that I was given a chance by destiny to
study in one of my dream college. I competed with the best minds of the
country, the cream, people with much greater intelligence and far brilliant
mind than me, people who had far richer background, people whose skill
set outclassed mine by leaps and bound and somehow I survived. The classes were
full with abundant idea ranging from complete shit to marvellous ones. I have
experienced the sheer wonder of creative and brilliant mind here, both the
professors and student. I have been in classrooms of some of the legends who
ever stepped in the field of academia. I have studies some of the best course of my life which really broadened my horizon and expanded my thinking level. My struggle was not a struggle for
existence, but a struggle for excellence and which in turned has carved a
survivor out of me. A ‘saiyan warrior’ far more powerful than his initial
version.
As I walk down on these roads again for one last time, step
into these empty hostels who echo wonderful memories created by multiple
batches. I am fully aware that I am walking down the same paths where legends
of corporate world today had walked and also I am grateful for the fact that
some of the people I have walked these paths together will rule the corporate
world tomorrow. I have studied with future entrepreneurs, CEOs, CHROs, CMOs,
CFOs or people who would quit the conventional path and bring a positive change
in the society.
XLRI, I would be honest to speak that I won’t miss you, I am
not sad, I am very happy leaving from here but that doesn’t mean I am not
grateful to what you have provided me and how you helped me to reach a new
potential altogether and how just being an ‘XL Mafia’ gives a completely new
dimension to the small towner Mayank Sharma. Yes, I have complaints but I have my experiences, my joys, my delights, my moments and learnings and I believe whatever I have experienced here will definitely help me to move a bit closer to my dreams.
Bye Bye XL, Till we meet again ! :)
