Is it a man's world ?

From the past few days I have been seeing a wide aggression against men everywhere. With due thanks to all the micro blogging sites and BBC finally many women have realized that there is only one and one enemy and that is a man. A man is selfish, arrogant, chauvinist, stupid, dominating and based on recent events and observation, a potential rapist. A man creates rule and expects women to follow it. He is the undisputed authority and he can’t be challenged. All he does is to oppress and suppress a woman and he enjoys it, he is a sadist. This is exactly the image I got while I was analysing the recent social media trend. Now if you are very sensitive and emotional, please leave the post as you might end up getting offended by virtue of your going by emotions and not by rationales and if you want to go ahead please finish the entire post before making any judgement. I want to discuss this issue logically and with a realistic approach rather than an emotional approach.

Now, all this started with the Delhi Rape case and the reactions afterwards were completely justified. That was a very heinous, cruel crime and kudos to our judiciary that they still think rapist have human rights and so they are getting trials in court. I don’t know why we need to prove a crime multiple times in regional courts, high courts, supreme courts and then even ask for president’s permission for a punishment. The whole philosophy of Indian judiciary, “100 criminals might escape but an innocent should never be punished” has become irrelevant as the 100 criminals are enjoying the delay and living a peaceful life. But I won’t go much deep into the judiciary and how it works because frankly I would never understand why we created such a slow, dormant and ineffective punishment system. I read somewhere recently that a panel discarded the amendment that in case of a cruel crime juvenile might be treated as adult, again hats off to your emotions, everyone who is less than 18 is allowed to do any crime and all he will get is a 3 year punishment that too is not a punishment just entry into a reform school. So the most brutal cruel insensitive Delhi rape criminal will roam freely after a few years into streets with no guilt or remorse because of this loop hole in the judicial system.

But afterwards some of hyper sensitive feminists which I tend to call pseudo feminists as they have forgotten the original aim of feminism and even some of the common people are doing the same mistake that we have done in case of terrorism. We generalized  few cases and declared every Muslim as terrorist and now also we are generalizing few cases and seeing every man as a rapist. Social media is flooded with all kind of videos and pictures which should be pro women but sadly are anti men. There was one video of a girl for ‘rape public day’, then 2 videos by 2 different boys in reply and as it happens we have created this sensitive issue as a girls vs boys thing again. There are various trending videos and pictures which describe the bad situation of women in India, how tough their life is and how India is unsafe. I agree with all the points but I just don’t agree with taking it to a limit where it is portraying the image of country as negative and unsafe and making a very wrong image of Indian men in front of the world.

First of all, I would like to clear that I am against rape or any other crime against women however small it is but here I wanted to talk more about the way some people are creating a big issue with not a good intention. Facebook page admins are posting photos that are intended to get more ‘likes’ and ‘shares’ and good comments. People are making videos which were originally intended for creating awareness but now they have plainly become male bashing agenda. What harm it has done? After the Delhi case, every Indian irrespective of religion, caste, gender felt a very uncomfortable pain in their heart, we were united for this cause, we wanted justice to be delivered, we were having one voice but now with so much male bashing some man have switched parties because they were unnecessarily made to feel guilty for a crime they haven’t done. They were asked to prove again and again their respect for women and even a slight humorous intake was treated as anti feminism. Men were unnecessarily dragged, accused, abused and forced for the cause of feminism.

All those messages were targeted to the wrong audience. The person who is in your friend list, who have spent years with you and is your well wisher won’t gonna harm you. The one who is going to harm you would hardly be bothered about these videos. We don’t even know if he has a facebook account or he is just roaming some where in unknown streets. So why to blame the ‘good’ ones for the wrong doing of the ‘bad’ ones ? Let’s try to create a positive atmosphere of security and safety rather than spreading hatred and animosity . A person of criminal mentality hardly cares for laws and punishment because he knows the loopholes. Murder has capital punishment for years, but that didn't stopped murders from happening. Criminals murder, rob, steal, blackmail and they also rape. All we can do is to set a good example by fast judgement and proper and strict punishment to at least minimize it to a very negligible amount.

Western countries which are abusing and accusing us as unsafe has much more per capita rapes and other crimes against women than our country. I am not saying that India is very safe, in fact our police and judiciary is the worst when it comes to dealing with it properly. But I would definitely object if a country which had much more per capita crime than mine would call my country as a country of rapist and deny us opportunity by judging us as potential rapists. We have a long way to go. From use of technology to proper awareness and creating a safe environment but I am positive we will surely achieve it one day. Changes are generally passed from generation to generation. We are the 90s generation, we have accepted and adapted all changes and I am hopeful our generation will create a better and safe country for coming generations. 

I remember a girl has written somewhere “Indian men do not hesitate to rape their own mothers and sisters”. We understood your aggression but no one gives you right to accuse us like this, we felt offended and deeply hurt. Wherever I go I read comments like “All men are dog, all men are hypocrite, all men are pervert etc etc”. We patiently hear it and when some of us try to reply it by share logic we are called anti women and told that we don’t have any respect for women. No, this is not the case, we are replying only because we respect women and mostly our sisters and mothers. Recently, I was accused of having ‘an agenda against women’ because of  few witty statuses I had put on facebook. Now I put all sort of status on facebook that is purely humorous and mostly unbiased and balanced. I have written many articles and poems entirely on women’s life and I respect them deeply. So I felt pretty bad that even having a sense of humour has become a crime now. I am supposed to show and prove my respect for women which I have already done multiple times again and again just to please few feminists. I would like to make it clear that I support women equality not women empowerment. I don’t think women need any special push. They are in many ways more capable than men and no way inferior or lesser so equality is what we should aim for rather than empowerment.

All the women who have made their way into some top organization or good job did it not because they were given any extra privileges or empowerment but because they were capable by themselves. All we need is to create more opportunity and more chance. There are countless examples varying from corporate to sports where women are occupying top positions because of their will power, courage, determination and hard work and not because they were given any special push. By saying again and again, India is a bad country for women we are disrespecting and insulting the efforts and hard work of all these women.

I saw a post few days back which said that a mother expects a baby boy because she knows how tough it is to survive in this cruel world as a girl. All I want to say is to both boys and girls just look at your dad, how many times he has travelled standing for hours in public transport to save some money for your education. How many times he has not bought new clothes because you wanted some fancy clothes. How many times your brother gave you chocolates and sweets from his share? We all have a different kind of struggle which can’t be and shouldn’t be compared. Life is tough for all so we shouldn’t glorify struggle by picking a particular gender. Everyone who is struggling to make a living should be equally respected. There are many families where the power is entirely in the hand of a woman and every decision is taken by her, just look around your relatives or neighbourhood and you will get at least a few where wife is more dominating than husband.

If you think that crime is happening only against women. Please just go through the statistics of wrong and false accusation of 498a. How many families it has destroyed, how it is being used as a weapon to blackmail entire family.? It not only destroy a husband, but also his mother his sister so it is destroying women too. Many men suicide because of the torture they have to bear by false accusation. Please go through this link to know about the flip side of the coin also. 

http://www.mensxp.com/special-features/today/25264-this-woman-tells-how-innocent-indian-men-fall-prey-to-fake-dowry-domestic-violence-cases.html

Men are also sexually harassed but as it doesn’t make a good case for TRP, it is not shown much. Many rape cases are false and used for blackmailing purpose. So many false cases are happening that people are even doubting the genuine one and that is a very bad thing. One must never use the privileges society and laws have given to them for selfish purposes as they are making the genuine case less heard by this.

Why I am raising this issue? Recently the Rohtak sister case and the bias of society destroyed the career of 3 young boys who could be in army. A student was denied internship in Germany because he comes from a country of rapist. What if your brother, father, boyfriend or best friend is wrongly accused in some case? Law may forgive them but society would never and it would be a stain on family forever. Don’t stereotype and generalize something. All men are not rapist. Some of us might be stupid, arrogant, bossy, retard, flirty but most of us are good, we respect women and we stood with them equally for crime against them.

I remember a conversation with a girl who was abusing all men continuously and expressing how disgusted and appalled she is by situation of women in India. I just asked her what is she doing for a change, why not become an IPS officer and change the situation, why not join army or military if the issue is so sensitive for her and she had no answer. See if want to see a change we have to be part of the process, by sharing a video on facebook from your air conditioned office blaming men if you think you have played your part  then that is wrong. You have to come out of your comfort zone, join directly or indirectly in some way to help the cause. I bet if thousands of women are moving on streets after 9 pm no crime will happen. Aren’t we supporting crime by staying safe in our house after 7 pm and letting those women in danger who have to work late at night. Our fear has become their power and that has to be changed.

What we have to understand is that society has set equally illogical norms and conventions for both girls and boys. Both have different struggles, different places where they have to prove themselves again and again. Men are suppose to get a good job, provide for their family, buy a big home and car and if they fail to do so they are called loser. A man whose wife earns more than him is considered one with no self esteem. A man who chose his mother over his wife is considered bad and selfish. Society isn’t soft to anyone of us, we all have our fights and our struggles so let us not compare whose struggle is hard or tough and respect and support everyone to excel.

As a man all I can say is I apologize for any discomfort that the society has done to you. I ask every fellow man to join me in this cause that let us start the change by this generation. We promise to keep the streets safe for you, to fight and raise voice against any injustice happing rather than staying silent, to support you in your cause and fight against crime and to respect you regardless of any other thing and in exchange we just hope that you won’t generalize a few case and punish all for crime of few.