A Writer's Plight

It’s been almost 10 years now since I started writing. It’s been almost 4 and half years span of running this blog. I started when I haven’t read much. I started when my grammar was really bad, that bad that I often feel ashamed while reading my old posts and I would have given a really bad review or even discourage the person to write if somebody had got my old posts reviewed from me. This will be my 89^th post on this blog, I have written various other articles on many other platforms. When I started, I didn’t know this will be the only thing I would do so consistently. Usually, I have the tendency to switch from one thing to another just being a dilettante in all. Lots of blogs mushroom around time to time, people make big plans and then stop writing after a few posts. Even I have been very inconsistent going through certain phases of my life which produced a writing block. Few days back, I crossed 20k hits and I thought it would be a nice thing to write about the whole writing experience.

Usually, whenever we start anything we go through two phases, both highly unrealistic and unpractical. First phase is when we haven’t started and we are in planning phase only. That is the high hope phase; we hope that we would reach the zenith very quickly. If it’s IIT JEE we think of getting a top 100 rank, if it’s starting of a semester we think of scoring 80+, if it’s CAT we think of getting 99.9+ percentile, if it’s coding we think of learning all the languages within a few days and becoming a top hacker also at the same time, and if it’s a blog we think that we would get a large reader base soon. Every time we will write, there will be tons of appreciation and feedback, lots of likes and sharing on facebook, people lauding you for your writing potential and you will be a regional celebrity. Of course, none of this happens.

As soon as we start, we fail to get a good score in our JEE and CAT mock tests. We flunk in mid semester let alone scoring 80+ in semester, no one reads our blog, you don’t even get 10 unique hits, we are unable to make even basic programs and fail to identify the semi colon syntax error let alone be a top coder, so discouraging are the results that we immediately sunk into the second phase and that is the being gloomy no hope phase. We stop our IIT/CAT preparation and look for easy alternatives with a firm belief that we don’t have what it takes to crack JEE/CAT. We stop programming and rely solely on theoretical subjects to get good marks in our semester exams and the bloggers either delete their blog or completely forget it, they can’t even recall their blog link few days later.  The transition between these 2 phases is so quick, it is the sole reason for most of our failures.

We fail not because we are incompatible, we fail because we stop pursuing, we fail because we lose the passion, we fail because our hopes are too high and when we don’t get appropriate response, we just stop everything. If I talk from a writer’s perspective, people think that blog is a cool thing, you will write and people will love you. You think that people would be interested in knowing about your life, your misery, your adventure but the truth is, nobody gives a damn about other’s life. Everyone is dealing with their own troubles and rarely one goes out of their cocoon to explore outer things. Nobody wants to read about your failed love life, your crushes, how you failed In JEE, what you think about growing economy or politics or the environment problems. They would prefer to chat with someone they want to pursue, or watch a video on youtube, or go through all the funny pics posted by random pages than reading your posts and that is fair only, you can’t blame them.

The post which you have written for hours won’t even get a single like on facebook, no comments and may be only 20 unique hits. Soon, you will realize the practice is as futile as doing 20 pushups daily and expecting a 50 inch chest. So, is the writing world that gloomy? Let us see the full picture now.

Little did you know, if you had continued your JEE preparation, your rank might have improved. If you had continued programming you might be a top programmer in few months. If you had continued with 20 pushups, you might be able to do 100 push up some day and may realize your 50 inch chest dream. Perseverance is the key and in writing it is indeed the most important term. Yes, some of us have that god gifted writing spark, but it will remain inconsistent unless you carve it. You would remain that Vinod Kambli who could never be Sachin despite being more gifted. Writing requires a direction and that could come only by writing. It’s a loop, you write and your writing goes better. Reading acts as a catalyst. Harivansh Rai Bacchan has said, the best way to write is to read 100 pages and then write a single line.

But, to be honest, even if you are writing brilliantly, you won’t get as much attention as you deserve leave alone appreciation. People don’t read Mark Twain, Charles Dickens, Ayn Rand, so you are too far in the queue. You have to be patient that time, really really patient. If you stop writing, then it will indeed be the end of the road. If you are solely writing for the sake of appreciation and to create a buzz then don’t write. You would be disappointed only. Write because you want to write, and you want to express, and sooner or later people will relate and write for the proper audience. There is no point in writing an article on quantam mechanics for 4^th grader tea vendor, you better write effective use of cardamom and ginger in tea for that guy. Write for your audience and let them relate with your content. Lastly, writing is not tough English, people often think writing means using tough words, nobody keeps a dictionary with them always, write as simple as you can, don’t be pretentious else you would lose your audience soon. In simplicity lies sophistication, and trust me writing a simple article is far tough than writing a touch one with fancy words.

So, lastly the plight paragraph. This is aimed for the readers. Dear readers, I am not talking about myself only but about any artist who is expressing his creativity to entertain you. It really takes hell lot of effort to even produce simplest of things. There should always be a 2 way lane, a 2 way communication. Appreciation should always be done where it is due. If you like or share a picture, it may not help the hungry kids of Africa, your wishes may not come true, the person who loves you may not reveal itself at the end of the day but if you like someone’s creation, a painting, a song, an article, a video anything or share it, it will mean a lot to the creator. It is such a morale booster, it can literally compensate efforts of many hours. No one really is expecting praise from you, the expectation is just of a feedback, just convey that you have read and looking forward to reading more, that’s it.

There have been multiple times when I thought no one is reading my blog and should I stop writing ? Many posts who had got huge hits didn’t have a single comment on them. A very highly anticipated post bring almost zilch response and that is very disheartening at times. But there would always be some random guy who I haven’t even talked pinging me that he read an article and that really changed his life. There would be people conveying through whatsapp, facebook, even phone calls that they really liked that post, a post that I had probably forgotten but it’s great to know it positively impacted someone’s life. There are always subtle signs that people are reading and liking the content, but I would be happy if the connection is made more explicit.

When I had not started writing, I used to read lots of blogs and always people were literally begging for comments in every post. It sounded very weird back then, I had a perception that this people are desperate for praises and want to be appreciated. It looked very negative back then, but here I am doing the same thing, asking people to interact and now I understand why they used to ask. It’s good to know someone is reading, someone is investing their time in something you created, it’s a great moral booster, and it compels you to be more serious, to write better, to write different, to write something that can really bring a positive change.

So people, it’s a writers plight, interact with me, do not appreciate just review, do not praise just give the feedback, give me a direction and I would be more than happy to follow it.

Thank you

Be alone but not lonely !

Do you often feel cut off from the world ? Do you feel that there is no one who cares about you or would be even remotely affected by your pain ? Are your weekends are really boring and you feel that you have no one in the whole world to enjoy with? Do you feel jealousy or pain when you see photos of people enjoying on facebook or in general any group hanging out and having fun? When the world is out there partying you are busy selecting what to buy on MacDonald online menu and searching for coupon codes to get some discount. When people are watching late night movies with one another, you are downloading some old classic movie and watching it alone, updating a status on facebook which never gets even a single like. No one ever tagged you in a ‘thank you’ status on facebook, no one gives a damn even if your whatsapp status is “ I wish this pain ends with me “, in short no one bothers about your existence in world and for many you don’t even exist, you are just a blurry image. Welcome to the real world then, it sucks but you have to develop a habit of loving it.

It’s really ironical that in an era with plethora of mediums available to keep us close, we are lonelier than ever. We have facebook account but no one cares what’s on our mind, we have skype but unless one is committed there is not much benefit of it, whatsapp, twitter , hike, etc all are of no use because after a particular point you lost the will to go there and talk to some one. Call rates are very low still rarely your phone rings and you get a call from some long lost friend, most of the time it’s just some random girl named Neha who wants you to buy a credit card, loan or insurance or forcing you to switch to postpaid. With the downfall of SMS, the era of staying in touch by random forwarded messages has also ended. Your whatsapp groups annoy you so you have kept them mute for an year. The only compulsory communication you do is with your family, because if you are living outside then you have to give them proof time to time that you are alive.

So what really changed in life ? After college ends, people just lose the will to stay in touch with their friends or nothing has changed but as we are not with any of the familiar faces, we just feel lonely ? Often I hear people complaining about how pathetic their life is and how they are taken for granted, mistreated by the world, and their friends have made new friends and have moved on. Often I hear ( or felt myself ) how priorities of people changes in life and your importance become less and less day by day . Well, the bitter truth is, college is over or will get over soon for many. It’s a moving world,  you can’t keep on crying for the same thing and neither you can make someone realize your worth again and again. Some people are like this only, their emotions are temporary and so are their promises, applicable only at a certain phase of your life and you have to accept it.

Even if people are still close to you, may be there life is not the same as it was. People met new people, people starts liking those new people, suddenly you are no longer the top priority of your friends. Boys get girlfriends, girls get boyfriend, and those who are ‘just friend’ get nothing but loneliness. For some people life remains same, only the person changes, your friends might be hanging out at the same place but with someone else and not you and you are suppose to be understanding. Your late night chats are replaced by their dear one, and either you get a late reply or no reply at all. That’s life, love can make people close and away at the same time.

You have to accept it that there is no point in making your mood a function of other’s action. You have to accept that people will move on, find new friends and at the same time no one is stopping you to do the same. You might be lonely only because you were knocking old doors for such a long time that you didn’t realize you yourself were closing your doors for a long time. You have to take some initiative to join both the broken links and make new links. You can’t sulk alone all the time, you have to do something and if you are afraid or too tired to take initiatives then best thing, enjoy being alone and do not feel lonely.

In pursuit of happiness from others, we often torture the one person that stays with us forever and will always be and that is, ourselves. We rarely think about our own life, our dreams, our interest, our hobbies, the things that make us happy, the things that can make our own life more interesting . We never crave for our own betterment. We never follow things that can improve our life 10 folds. We never read, write or watch something worth watching. We do not travel alone or eat alone or go somewhere where there is no one except ourselves. There is no point in smothering ourselves in the crowd, better escape out from the world and enjoy staying with oneself.

This idea might look a bit absurd but the truth is that the more time you spend with yourself the lesser you will crave for company of others. It’s more or less a mental self dependence. You won’t feel the need of others and you won’t feel sad when people are ignoring you or insulting you. It’s good to stay out of the loop and just watch things happening instead of becoming a part of them. So, this weekend, buy a good book and read it all, or watch a good movie alone, google a good nearby place and travel their alone, or if you are too lazy, then just go to your roof top, sit silently and watch the beautiful sky and just try to remember all the beautiful things that has happened in your life. Learn to live alone, don’t feel lonely, because you are not alone.