Be alone but not lonely !

Do you often feel cut off from the world ? Do you feel that there is no one who cares about you or would be even remotely affected by your pain ? Are your weekends are really boring and you feel that you have no one in the whole world to enjoy with? Do you feel jealousy or pain when you see photos of people enjoying on facebook or in general any group hanging out and having fun? When the world is out there partying you are busy selecting what to buy on MacDonald online menu and searching for coupon codes to get some discount. When people are watching late night movies with one another, you are downloading some old classic movie and watching it alone, updating a status on facebook which never gets even a single like. No one ever tagged you in a ‘thank you’ status on facebook, no one gives a damn even if your whatsapp status is “ I wish this pain ends with me “, in short no one bothers about your existence in world and for many you don’t even exist, you are just a blurry image. Welcome to the real world then, it sucks but you have to develop a habit of loving it.

It’s really ironical that in an era with plethora of mediums available to keep us close, we are lonelier than ever. We have facebook account but no one cares what’s on our mind, we have skype but unless one is committed there is not much benefit of it, whatsapp, twitter , hike, etc all are of no use because after a particular point you lost the will to go there and talk to some one. Call rates are very low still rarely your phone rings and you get a call from some long lost friend, most of the time it’s just some random girl named Neha who wants you to buy a credit card, loan or insurance or forcing you to switch to postpaid. With the downfall of SMS, the era of staying in touch by random forwarded messages has also ended. Your whatsapp groups annoy you so you have kept them mute for an year. The only compulsory communication you do is with your family, because if you are living outside then you have to give them proof time to time that you are alive.

So what really changed in life ? After college ends, people just lose the will to stay in touch with their friends or nothing has changed but as we are not with any of the familiar faces, we just feel lonely ? Often I hear people complaining about how pathetic their life is and how they are taken for granted, mistreated by the world, and their friends have made new friends and have moved on. Often I hear ( or felt myself ) how priorities of people changes in life and your importance become less and less day by day . Well, the bitter truth is, college is over or will get over soon for many. It’s a moving world,  you can’t keep on crying for the same thing and neither you can make someone realize your worth again and again. Some people are like this only, their emotions are temporary and so are their promises, applicable only at a certain phase of your life and you have to accept it.

Even if people are still close to you, may be there life is not the same as it was. People met new people, people starts liking those new people, suddenly you are no longer the top priority of your friends. Boys get girlfriends, girls get boyfriend, and those who are ‘just friend’ get nothing but loneliness. For some people life remains same, only the person changes, your friends might be hanging out at the same place but with someone else and not you and you are suppose to be understanding. Your late night chats are replaced by their dear one, and either you get a late reply or no reply at all. That’s life, love can make people close and away at the same time.

You have to accept it that there is no point in making your mood a function of other’s action. You have to accept that people will move on, find new friends and at the same time no one is stopping you to do the same. You might be lonely only because you were knocking old doors for such a long time that you didn’t realize you yourself were closing your doors for a long time. You have to take some initiative to join both the broken links and make new links. You can’t sulk alone all the time, you have to do something and if you are afraid or too tired to take initiatives then best thing, enjoy being alone and do not feel lonely.

In pursuit of happiness from others, we often torture the one person that stays with us forever and will always be and that is, ourselves. We rarely think about our own life, our dreams, our interest, our hobbies, the things that make us happy, the things that can make our own life more interesting . We never crave for our own betterment. We never follow things that can improve our life 10 folds. We never read, write or watch something worth watching. We do not travel alone or eat alone or go somewhere where there is no one except ourselves. There is no point in smothering ourselves in the crowd, better escape out from the world and enjoy staying with oneself.

This idea might look a bit absurd but the truth is that the more time you spend with yourself the lesser you will crave for company of others. It’s more or less a mental self dependence. You won’t feel the need of others and you won’t feel sad when people are ignoring you or insulting you. It’s good to stay out of the loop and just watch things happening instead of becoming a part of them. So, this weekend, buy a good book and read it all, or watch a good movie alone, google a good nearby place and travel their alone, or if you are too lazy, then just go to your roof top, sit silently and watch the beautiful sky and just try to remember all the beautiful things that has happened in your life. Learn to live alone, don’t feel lonely, because you are not alone.