PLACEMENTS.............

The word triggers lots of emotions in us specially in the final year crowd. This word looks pretty normal in the first 3 years of engineering; we never give it a serious thought and are very casual about it. We see our seniors going through it and we always relate ourselves to the best ones and hope to repeat their success or even perform better than them. In some way, we are always in a comfort zone that we would excel and would perform exceptionally well. But, if only life goes as we visualize it in our fantasies. When we actually go through the placement procedure what comes out is a very changed form of us. Both, the successful ones and the failures, no one is same afterwards.

Most of us are not mentally prepared for failures and don’t know how to tackle ‘rejection’. The reactions of other peoples and constant nagging from irrelevant relatives and people studying elsewhere make the situation worse. Our faith in our abilities is heavily shaken which unbalances our whole life. We start doubting almost everything; our past achievements, our brilliance, our talent; our capabilities. This also puts a question mark on our future ambitions and we are not sure whether we will be able to achieve them or not or as a matter of fact whether we are eligible enough to even give it a try or not. We all start with the big IIT dream and getting a fat package like 20+ lakh and after our initial dream to reach the best elite institutes of countries is crushed we somehow compromise and start to think about grabbing the best companies of our own college. We see mass recruiters with the same eyes as we used to see local colleges (most of us are studying in these colleges now) that time and never think about getting into those until they are the only hope. Then comes a time where we are so much in doubt that even the 3 lpa package which once we used to think is far below our dignity and standard starts looking unachievable. We doubt that whether we will make it to any company or not.

The origin, reason and main source of all these problems is the highly intellectual suggestions and comments of ‘other people; the pseudo specialists of every problem’. They always have something to say. If you are successful then it was because of your luck and procedures were easy and best suited for you. If you are unsuccessful and sad then you are the typical ‘cry baby’ and ‘Mr. complaining’ who isn’t competent enough to get into the companies and is now crying everywhere. If you are not complaining and happy thinking that luck wasn’t with you then you will meet the ‘angoor khatte hai’ crowd who will smash you everywhere by saying that since you didn’t get into that’s why you find everything unfair. Lastly, if you do not care about your failure at all then you are hiding and pretending but deep down you are extremely hurt and affected. So beware of these experts and try to shield your mental peace from them as much as you can as these people harm our self confidence the most.

Most of the humans are either ‘masochist’ or ‘hypocrite’. Those who should fairly contemplate the situation and give a clean chit to themselves start doubting on their own capabilities and tag themselves as useless and looser while those who really weren’t capable and need significant hard work and improvement start blaming situation and their luck. Such contradictions prevail almost everywhere in our country. Those who must complain start crying and those who must cry start complaining.

If we carefully retrospect all the events with an unbiased mind and in a third person frame of reference we can easily infer that at times all we lack was some amount of luck. May be that day was not yours but some other time, some other day or in fact some other person judging your performance; you could have easily cleared it. Failure never means that we were not capable enough or lacked the desired qualities. One must never doubt oneself on such occasions. Even if there are some shortcomings then those could easily be identified and rectified. There is always a next time and there is always the scope of a bigger success. I don’t want to repeat clichés like how Amitabh Bacchan became a mega star after getting rejected by all India radio initially for improper voice or the life incidents of Michael Jordon or Abraham Lincoln. But success after failure is something we observe in day to day life.

I have seen people losing their entire faith and confidence after one failure. People get intimidated, life appears bleak and daunting to them. Hope became a dangerous thing driving them insane. They started living in a world where they are not only incapable but also unlucky and victim of cruel claws of destiny. I never understand how we can be so stubborn that we allow a single event to judge our entire life. Can certain people or a system or an exam decide whether we are capable enough to be successful or not? Surely the people who got selected were capable, no doubt, they indeed got the required skill sets to get a place in the company but the one who didn’t make it were no lesser capable. Life ditches us when we trust it most but this is one thing that we must accept now that life never go as we plan it else there would be no thrill in living it.

We have lived our life for 20+ years and only we know what we are capable of doing and what we are not. Whether we have done proper justice with our life or not and no other person can issue a certificate on our abilities and decide our fate. We must put efforts for the sake of improving ourselves and for the sake of adding values into our life not for getting into certain organization and getting a certain package. At the end of the day it’s all about how satisfied you are with the life you have lived and only we can decide that not some other person or organization or society. We must be confident enough to know our potential and then what we need is to be patient. Sooner or later, appreciation and acknowledgement will come indeed. Sooner or later, we will definitely get success and reach where not only we are destined to be but also we deserve to be.

Lastly, we have to give up our urge to prove ourselves better and distinct always. The constant longing of getting success everywhere and standing above everyone. Success provides joy but failure is a complete package. You can introspect, analyse  think about your flaws and weakness, there is an ample scope of improvement. Failure insures that you won’t fail at the next level if only you know how to use failure properly. Don’t think about the society, don’t think about your friends and circles, and don’t think about your own expectations and the standard you set for yourself. Just release yourself from all constraints and carefully assess the situation and think what went wrong, what you must have done and what you mustn’t and what to do to ensure you won’t repeat your previous mistakes. At the end of the day life is too large to declare ourselves as a persistent looser and opportunities come and go if only you have the willpower and urge to keep on fighting and struggling.

ALL THE BEST EVERYONE FOR UPCOMING PLACEMENTS!!

THE LAST BUS RIDE ........ PART III

continued from previous post....

Why the hell haven’t we arrived yet, what’s the cause of this delay, conductor? Conductor?? Driver? I shouted with all my might but I can hear only my own voice and that never ending screaming of the bus. I was afraid to death now and I stood up and tried to look where the driver was and in that moment I realized that even the bus was having no headlights. It was moving in pitch black road with not even a single trace of light. Suddenly the whole bus was filled with a smell.

That awful smell started smothering me and choking me. It was disgusting, pungent and was making me ill. I started getting dizzy and felt like puking. It surrounded me completely and I was dumbstruck and perplexed and couldn’t figure out the source of that smell and why I can’t feel the presence of anyone else in that bus and why both the driver and conductor were not responding and why the bus was moving without any headlights. It was like a nightmare, and I was hoping that I would awake safely on the other station and would leave this bus and would laugh on my random imaginations but somehow I knew that everything was happening in real. It wasn’t a dream and there was no explanation of all the events that were happening around.

I opened the flash light of my phone and suddenly my mind was blown with sensation of such sheer stark horror which I think no one has ever experienced in their life. It was fear, plain crude fear, fear with no other emotions attach with it, no uncertainty, no assurance, no mockery, just fear and the reason of that fear was I was alone in that whole bus. There was no one, no passenger, no conductor and somehow I summoned to peek in the driver’s cabin and the magnitude of my fear increased ten folds when I realized there was no driver. The bus was running on its own on a road I don’t know, going where I have no idea and whether I will come out alive or not.

Suddenly I realized the nature of that smell. It was that of human flesh. Burnt human flash, burnt to a very serious degree and at the very moment I realized it along with the continuous screaming of bus I can clearly distinguish another sound. In fact a mixture of various sounds, and these were the sound of screaming. Scream for help, scream for getting away, scream even for an abrupt death and lastly some screams were plain scream, scream just for the sake of screaming as if you were not able to cry for help or ask for anything but can only summon enough strength to scream.

Don’t know how or because of what, suddenly I came back to my senses, I realized that I have to leave this bus as fast as I can otherwise there is no chance of me getting back alive. I don’t know how I will do that or what I will do after leaving the bus but at that time only one thing was on my mind, abandoning this god forsaken bus. The screams continued, the smell became stronger with every moment and I summoned all my strength and knocked myself out of the window of that moving bus hoping to land alive. Injuries were not in my mind, staying alive was my only aim at that time.

I landed hard and that hurt, but the joy of getting out of that bus compensated all the injuries and pain and luckily I landed on a muddy surface and rolled over to some distance but still I damaged my body badly. I didn’t even bother to look around where I was and I just started running blindly in the opposite direction. I don’t know why I was running, where I was going, from what I was trying to escape but at that time the only thing that was in my mind was to run and to get away from this place as far as I can. At that time I realized that when I jumped the speed of bus was very slow in comparison to its usual speed and when I look ahead in the direction of the bus I saw that the area was illuminated by some strong energy source.

I felt intense light radiations piercing my eyes and hurting them and simultaneously I felt great amount of heat from somewhere. I looked ahead and saw the same bus, burning, fire all around it and slowly moving towards the end of a bridge. I was transfixed, I can neither move nor think nor analyse what was happening and can’t decide what my reaction should be. The bus suddenly accelerated with a great pace, lost its balance, hit the side wall of a bridge, broke it and went down burning. A loud sound like thunderclap came and I was not having the courage to go there and look what happened to the bus.

I started running again. Running with no aim, no plan in mind where to go. I just ran and hoped that I will reach somewhere safe. I ran and ran. I ran without getting tired, didn’t giving any heed to all the pain that my body was going through. I ran for don’t know how long but it was a significant amount of time. After some time my body started giving up, the motivation was gone, everything appeared bleak, I lost all the hope. I didn’t want to sit there as didn’t know somehow I was having this feeling I can survive only by running. My throat was burning; face was red showing lack of oxygen and energy. My eyes were closing, darkness and darkness and I was lost in oblivion.  

I opened my eyes slowly and felt that my whole body was still paining. It took a lot of effort to open both the eyes properly and I felt the warm sunlight on my face now. Everything was bright and shining and alive again. I looked around and found that I was at some small tea stall covered inside a blanked. A man came with a cup of tea in his hands and told me that a truck driver found me unconscious on side of the road near a field and took me here thinking I caught cold and need some warm place. Some few more men gathered around and they asked me what happened last night.

I, at first, hesitated a bit, thinking they will laugh at me and will consider me as a fool but then  I decided to tell them everything whatever happened last night. The strange man, the bus, the conductor, the fellow travellers, how everyone vanished, that awful smell and how the bus burnt and fell over the bridge. They all were listening with pensive faces, listening carefully to every word that I was saying and showing not a single sign of distrust. As if they understood everything but no one interrupted, their eyes were focused on me and I kept on describing everything.

“Consider yourself very lucky sir” One of the man said after I had finished.

“The thing that conductor told you about that bike rider is correct, a man indeed died in a horrible accident, which was, in fact, a murder plot and his ghost indeed roams around the street with the same old bike. Though we don’t know whether he has harmed anyone or not yet but you had so far the closest encounter with him and still you are alive” said another man with a big moustache.

“But, most of all, by god’s grace or by some miracle you survived that haunted bus, few years back there was a fight between drivers and conductors of two buses over passengers and the driver and conductor of the other bus locked the first bus from outside somehow, and set it to fire and made sure that fire will continue burning slowly so that the bus will burn on road, the bus continued burning with all its passengers screaming and crying for help. The driver realizing that the bus is locked from every place and there is no chance of everyone getting out by windows decided to move it fast if in any case this will stop the fire, he collided with the side wall of a bridge and the bus fell. No one was alive. Everyone died the most painful and smothering death. Ever since this, many people have seen that bus on the same road with no drivers and no passengers. It is burning and it fells over that bridge again and again. Various people have seen that but guess you are the first person who has taken a ride in it.” Said the first one.

I was utterly aghast. I wasn't able to say anything now. Tears rolled into my eyes. I thanked god because only he can save someone from such a horrible event. The men around me were trying to make me comfortable by saying positive words and by their body languages but I realized that I would never be the same after this. Life will continue and soon things will be back to normal. I will definitely travel again but I will surely consider hiring a private vehicle or travelling by train. I was done with buses now. That ride was surly my last bus ride and I was lucky that I completed the journey and came back alive.

THE LAST BUS RIDE......... PART II

......... continued from the previous post

“Sorry sir, didn’t mean to offend you, take your ticket” and a broad, tall figure appeared in the outlines of flash of an old torch light. The conductor, as it appeared from his dressing sense, a man of 35, looked nothing unusual than the way conductor generally looks. Always frustrated, in a rush, annoyed as people are always complaining to start the bus, the quarrel at the last seat, where he wants 6 people to sit but the other 5 always rebel and abuses the conductor. But, there was something strange in his face. His dark and defected face was of the kind that makes you uncomfortable just by the mere sight of it. His low pitched and heavy voice was adding to the effects. I gave him a 100rs note, he asked for change and I responded negatively. Frustrated by this, he remarked slowly yet made sure that I would listen “Travelers always assume we will give them all luxuries, good seats, a nice and timely ride but they would never think about our misery. We can’t expect a little change from them and they would expect a luxury ride in 40rs from us”.

I, annoyed by his sarcastic and acidic remark and disgusted by his face told him that I will take the change later and he flashed his light again and took me to a vacant seat. In the tiny luminosity of that small torch, somehow fighting with a much larger opponent, the vast darkness, I got a view of the whole bus. It was a very old and small bus, rusted, seats were tempered and not in a very good condition, many parts of the bus were loose and coming out and I was mentally preparing myself for a very noisy and uncomfortable ride. I couldn’t yet figure out my fellow travelers but nobody appeared to me as young, urban or even slightly belonging to a good financial class. All were men and women, villagers most of them, peasants and farmers, some having little child with them. All of them as the travelers usually look not washed or not dressed properly and the faces of kids reflected some sort of gloominess and never ending hunger and desperation. Whole together, it was a very gloomy and bleak atmosphere in the bus, no one was chatting, the kids were silent too, not by there will but by some untold rule that was forcing everyone to keep quiet and maintain the powerful darkness and stillness.

 Unlike the usual atmosphere of bus, I am used to travelling, the up downers relaxing and talking with each other, people talking loudly on mobile phones , as they can’t hear what the other person was saying because of noise of the bus, but still they’ll continue the conversation somehow ,screaming and disturbing the whole bus. Students, either chattering or watching something on mobile or just playing with it dumb faced. Alone travelers, either sleeping or lost in thoughts of deep introspection and contemplation. The rich and affluent giving disgusting face to every other person and reproaching their decision of taking a bus.  Girls, mostly fully covered in their summer suits or with some other cloth with only their eye visible and everything that they were thinking can be read from those eyes. The timidity, a little fear, slight discomfort and the urge to reach their destination as fast as they can but realizing at the same time that they are bound to this bus to reach their destination and they can’t help it.

But today everything was different; everything was lost in silence and a sudden strangeness. Everything was peculiar and was having an air of discomfort. The whole atmosphere was deprived of energy, of motion and most of all of life. Everything was as still as death and I was analyzing everything and cursing me to travel this late and making resolutions that I will always catch the evening bus and somehow assuring myself that once the bus will start everything will become normal with the motion and I will be at home in no time.

After some time, the bus started with a sudden jerk, gradually it paced and the journey began. I can feel the sublime beauty of night, with cold breeze touching my face like soothing me and assuring me that everything will be all right. Suddenly, I was back to the appalling reality from this reposeful dream when I realized that the reason of my calmness was the source of my turbulence now. This complete silence in a bus, not even a single sound, and no movement, as like everyone was even holding their breath just to maintain this silence.

“Why the hell it is so quiet here” I thought not able to comprehend this strange atmosphere in which I had willingly trapped myself.

The bus was moving very fast now, and every part of it was making noises in a perfect harmony. But that harmony was not creating any pleasant music, but sound of screaming, annoying and scary noises, which was very sharp and unnerving. The seat was very uncomfortable as if there was no foam at all, pure steel which was very cold and the posture in which I was forced to sit was contributing to my discomfort, frustration and pain.

The conductor was nowhere to be seen. The bus was moving, cutting the furious wind in a struggle of showing absolute resistance to the power of wind and their collision can be heard clearly. It was noisier inside than a pneumatic drill machine. Suddenly the conductor appeared out of the darkness.

“Your change, sir” He said, in a tone of doing me a favour. I also didn’t bother to say thank you and gave him a look which I was sure won’t be visible to him due to darkness.

“The man with whom you came sir, were you familiar with him”? The conductor enquired suddenly.

“No, I had taken lift from him to reach the station” I replied, wondering why he is asking such an irrelevant question.

“Rumours say that a man died on a similar kind of bike in a horrible accident few years back and now his spirit roams on empty roads looking for preys” The conductor said in a tone which no matter how I tried to take it as a joke but couldn’t deny its seriousness.

“Be careful sir, streets are not safe, particularly in nights, I wonder if you remember his face or if there was a face at all” He said in a manner of telling something indirectly which he himself feared to tell clearly.

He disappeared again and there was the same screaming bus, furious wind, and never ending darkness. I was now on the verge of praying; god please move this bus fast or please insure that I will reach home safely. The road was now illuminated by some lights, probably of some shops or some strange houses but what was puzzling me was that there was not even a single other vehicle. Though it was late but not that late that there won’t be anyone travelling by road. I looked at the road more carefully and suddenly my thoughts were transfixed, I can feel a single drop of thread running from my head downwards and a strange sensation that made my whole body unstable and shiver. It was not the same road which the bus usually takes, it was something new, it was something hitherto I haven’t seen and suddenly various bad and frightening thoughts originated in my mind of my possible doom.

They must have changed the route again, it’s been long since they have done this but guess tonight is different or may be the bus travels by a different route in night. I tried to calm myself and started to make some plausible explanation for this sudden change of route that would convince my mind. If I ever escape from this bus alive I would write an animated story on this, I thought, adding some fun into my tensed thoughts that were running faster than the bus itself and were making more noises in my head than the loose noisy parts of the bus.

I guess everybody is either sleeping or their voice isn’t audible in this annoying sound of the bus. The very feeling that I was seating alone in the seat which gave me a very pleasant comfort in the beginning was making the situation worse no. Perhaps if someone was sitting here with me, I may have talked to him and could convince myself that everything is normal. I tried to look in the backside of the bus but I can still figure out some shadows and peach black colour, nothing else. Where the hell that stupid conductor vanishes time by time, I thought.

I thought to call someone at home to pick me up, as I don’t want to hire any auto now or taking a lift again was the last thing on my list. NO SIGNAL, my phone silently declared as if ashamed of its inability to serve its master when its help was required most.  Damn this telecom companies, they will boast of signals everywhere, will allure us by giving senti ads “ wherever we go, we follow”, sends stupid messages of subscribing to know the updates of what is going in tina’s, mina’s or rina’s life or what happened when some miss riya joined gym or subscribing to all the dumbest and stupid things of life, will call you at night and will try to convince you of shifting from pre-paid to post-paid but when you need the network most, they will always betray you as that shameless friend who always cries for a party when you achieve something but never helps you when you are needy.

“ Curse them all, I hate this, when will this god-damn ride stop” I said angrily but inaudibly or perhaps my voice was also overshadowed by the screaming bus. I thought the best idea to escape is to put the hands free on, start a loud song and close my mind and try to have a nap. It sounded weird to me, trying to get a nap by listening to a loud song but that sounded the best counter to loud noises of the bus. If not nap then at least the song will derail me from this awful nervousness.

I picked some loud English songs, made a playlist, closed my eyes and was lost in thought. For a long time I don’t know I was in a limbo, the song, unclear lyrics, sound of bus everything got mixed up into my mind when I finally woke up I was having no memories of my decision to take a nap in the bus but suddenly in a flash of second everything came to me and I felt the same dread again. I looked in my mobile and was more perplexed than frightened when it showed 2:30 am. What the hell. I must be at home way early. Did the bus stopped for something. Perhaps a tyre puncture or some engine problem. There got to be a reason for this delay. ......... to be continue

Stay tuned for the last part, meanwhile do share your views and feedback !! 

THE LAST BUS RIDE......... PART 1

“Auto….”  I screamed as loudly as I can but still that damn auto didn't stop.

“Damn it, that stupid Murphy’s Law always holds, these annoying drivers would continue disturbing you when you don’t need them, and today when I finally need them, no one would stop”

Some more minutes passed and now my frustration was increasing with every second. It was getting late. I had to reach bus stand anyhow by 9 pm and it was already 8:30 pm. The road was almost empty, not a trace of any motion could be seen and I, who always consider myself, as the daring and risk taking guy, was somehow trying to remain calm and stable in this inner turmoil to satisfy my inner ego. I have heard various stories about this path to highway and particularly how dangerous it is in night and I always discarded them as nothing but source of amusement and imagination of certain naughty people.

I was now reproaching my decision of leaving for home town late. But the urge to go home as soon as I can and the temptation of spending more time there, having dinner with family and funny chit chats, had blinded my conscience for a while and I can’t do much now other then blaming myself for showing such a hurry  and impatience.

“Could have slept early and taking the morning bus would be the right and less risky decision”, I thought.

 Though I never preferred taking lift from any stranger, may be because of my ego of not taking favour or my nature of not disturbing others and a small trace was based on the story I have heard of people taking lift and later robbed , kidnapped or even subjected to syringe of AIDS by  the driver. But I was having second thoughts on the idea of taking a lift and I decided to venture for it today.

It was a cold night and I was sweating and shivering at the same time now. Travelling with bus was nothing new for me. My home town was only 2 hours by bus from this city, but I was never this late. I was not even sure that there will be buses after 9 pm.  Suddenly, a sharp noise broke my thought process; a man with a very old and noisy bike was coming.  He was covered fully in an old and dark blanket with some other woolens and not even a single part of his body was visible. I reluctantly asked for lift, he stopped. I asked him whether he would give me lift to the bus stand. He responded with a positive nod, without caring to utter any word.

The bike started again with its annoying screaming like voice and I was not sure which thing was causing me goose bumps; the strange rider, the silent and chilled wind, or the sudden strange voices that were breaking the stark silence of night at regular intervals.  The coincidence that this stranger agreed to carry me to bus station was also contributing to the unusual fear and insecurity in me, but I was helpless in the situation. Somehow, I was holding my breath and praying to reach station safely.

“And what made you to venture late at night for station, sir”? He asked in an expressionless yet strange tone with a rural accent, his voice a little uncomfortable and timid, which usually happens when villagers talk with any urban person and becomes a little self conscious of their manner.

“Holidays started and I wanted to be at home as quickly as I can” I replied, trying to sound confident and comfortable.

 “Avoid travelling at this time sir, roads are not safe, you must have heard stories about the roads here” He said with a very strange tone that almost scared me.

“Are you talking about the haunted experience and encounter with ghosts that people had on this highway?” I enquired as casually as I could.

“No sir, the dead always lives in peace and didn't harm anyone unless provoke to do so, it’s the evil in human which we must be afraid of, peoples are frequently robbed here and harmed by robbers and thieves, so the farther you stay the safer you would be” He replied.

“So why are you travelling that late, you not afraid of thieves and robbers, what makes you so safe” I commented in a sarcastic manner, little annoyed by his remarks and advise.

“I have my reasons for travelling that I can’t avoid and have to gone through all such risks” He replied in a tone of not pulling the topic further.

We didn’t talked much after that, just a little, the road as it appeared like a deserted city, not a single noise of even any creature. Darkness was on its peak that day, it was like someone sucked light intentionally and covered the whole sky with a dark blanket. But, darkness, which generally is portrayed as the primary source of horror was in fact the least reason for this tonight. It was something else, it was something unusual, which existed, but can’t be described in words. Though I have roamed late nights various time in streets, both with friends and alone, have studied till dawn without giving a single thought about the time or darkness, have sit on roofs late night gazing the stars and thinking about the vastness of the sky and the beauty of the silence that comes only with night and the tranquillity it gives to mind and the way it boosts positive thoughts and give peace to our running life, a sudden stillness which relaxes the very single muscle of the body, I never consider nights as scary but they were always the example of beauty and a serene stillness to me.

But tonight was different. It was not beautiful, it was not serene and it was certainly not at all relaxing. The silence mixing with the stark darkness and loneliness was turning into something else, a source of a feeling akin to being lost and depressed devoid of any hope of finding the path again. In addition to all this agony, the worst thing was what broke the silence, the small spurts of chilling wind and the hissing sound that they made in the ears was enough to scare me. I never ever experienced such a horror; I who used to make fun of horror movies and used to jeer the scary scenes and characters was getting uncomfortable just because of this combination of darkness and silence. 

As it happens with us generally, all the horror movies which hitherto were more like a comedy movies, suddenly started flashing into my minds, and my mind started making various pictures from the darkness and started hearing various sounds that I, somehow knew, was originating in my own mind. I was trying to think about something else, what would I do when I will reach home or the beautiful girl that I had just seen today in college and how I would approach her and befriend her. Even such beautiful fantasy failed to make any permanent place in my mind and I was back to the scary thoughts again and again.

Lost in thoughts, timid and squeezing up my body to as less as I can, I somehow continue to struggle in that treacherous voyage where nothing was different and scary yet I was scared. Suddenly, the sound of motorcycle was lost and for a moment everything halted as if power has been snapped.

“Here is the station sir and there is your bus” said the biker.

I, stupefied for a moment as we had reached much early than the usual time, took some time to respond but all I could say was “thank you”.

“Take care sir, I wish you reach home safely and in a single piece, there is no guarantee of it when you travel by a bus” and he started laughing. Though, there was nothing unusual in either his tone or his joke but somehow his joke sounded like a sarcasm or allusion to me for some bad omen and his laugh sounded hysteric and gave me goosebumps. I still couldn’t figure out how we reached station so early and the most frightening fact was that, I don’t remember his face and I don’t remember if I have seen his face or there was a face at all, all I remember is something covered in blanket and something dark inside but I can’t figure a shape out of it.

“Good bye” He said, his bike screamed again with full intensity, and he was lost in darkness again and at that time I realized that his bike didn’t have any headlight and we crossed all the roads in darkness.

“The road was empty, who needs light anyway, we men can drive with the help of our instinct” I thought, comforting myself with strange logics that I formed so that my mind won’t started thinking about anything paranormal.

I entered into the bus and realized I was entering into a dimension of next level of darkness. Nothing was visible, I can figure out some shadow figures sitting on seats silently and even I was not confirmed about it. Suddenly, a sudden flash of light perplexed me as it went straight into my eyes and I shouted angrily “remove it from my face, what nonsense”.

Stay tuned for the next part to see what happens in the bus, meanwhile feedbacks and suggestions are welcome !! 

RISE OF MODIWAAD..............

Though I refrain from writing anything about politics because I was saturated  long ago ( guess it’s been 2 years now) and secondly writing about politics allow many random  people to start a debate and  they usually get carried away because of their sentiments and create scenes which I don’t like. Anyway, I couldn’t resist the tempt to write about 'rise of Narendra Modi' and relevant events after the drama of past few days.

Those who know me and know my political stand consider me as very pro Narendra Modi and as a matter of fact I am. I proudly accept this. I remember the first day when Narendra Modi has made a solid impact on me. It was during some election campaigning and he was giving a speech. He was having one 'fatwa' in his hand issued by some terrorist organization and he was reading it with eloquent style and great confidence stating how he was responsible for prevention of terrorism in Gujarat and that was the first day I appreciated him as a leader. Excellent speaker, confident, different and dominating; a perfect man who can lead the nation.

Later I become familiar with all the controversies that revolves around him, his portrayal as pro Hindu anti Muslim leader and many other adjectives like ‘ maut ka saudagar’. I always used to wonder that time that there are many states but no chief minister gains such a massive popularity. Modi remains in highlight whether he is speaking or silent, whether he is in Gujarat or in any other state, whether opposite parties are talking about him or not. Rise of  Modi into central politics was always an undeniable truth, it was inevitable, sooner or later it was going to happen and it’s a happy news that it has happened finally.

I won’t speak of any known facts or statistics about development of Gujarat or how Modi has reformed it or how he has successfully encapsulated traditional farming and industries with modern corporate culture or any such praise of him. What is most appealing in him is his attitude, his firmness, his tenacity, the way he never leaves what he is just for the sake of politics. I guess to every person knowing the basics of politics, it’s very apparent that he could have easily gained popularity and could be redeemed of all his sins by taking all the blames of Gujarat riots on his head and asking for forgiveness. But he has never done this; he stood against Atal Bihari ji and many other prominent leaders for this. Now in politics, this stunt is always very expensive and a person like Modi can easily comprehend the costs and side effects of this but he sticks to it. So we can safely conclude that this person is more on being the person he is rather than playing cheap politics.  

I would not comment on his portrayal as ‘vikas purush’ or whatever adjectives he gets these days but no one can deny the fact that Gujarat has developed in past couple of years with due credit to policies of Narendra Modi. He remained firm on many of his projects though they were not supported by many but this is the quality of a true leader; standing for whatever is right as per you. He remains mostly silently when others criticize him; he doesn't talk about Gujarat riots or Hindu-Muslim or any kind of fundamentalism these days. He talks only about building a new India or development of the nation. Now one may say that he is just escaping from his past sins and diverting the attention of people but even if he is doing this; what’s the harm?? Only our country is getting benefit.

My support for Narendra Modi as a candidate for prime minister is not because of his charismatic character, or him being a brilliant orator or his policies or anything but only because of the fact that there is no better alternative. No one is in fact near him as of now. Mr. Rahul Gandhi, no doubt I supported him very much in his initial political career. It was like more mature, stable and supported Rajeev Gandhi, but sadly he lacked everything. He was not like his iron lady grandmother, or his fierce and courageous Uncle or his simple and visionary father.

 I support Rajeev Gandhi in everything; he was an honest man away from politics in his early days. He brought computers in India. He was the only person so far in India who openly opposed caste based reservation by saying that it’s a way to divide the country again. Rahul Gandhi, initially tried to walk on footsteps of his father. He also said many revolutionary things interacted with students and in fact opposed the reservation system in higher institutes but sadly he was muted by his party. He now says only those things that party approves or party talks. There is no vision of Rahul Gandhi, there is no separate perspective of him and there is no opinion of him. He remains silent on majority of issues when people of our country are expecting the leader of the future to walks in and give them some assurance. In fact I appreciate people like Digvijay Singh and Jayram Ramesh. At least, they say something opposite to party and party discard their statements by saying that these are their personal views. But they at least have some contradicting opinions. Rahul Gandhi has no personal opinions, no agenda, no vision, no direction. He is not a person who can lead the country because he has no decision making power or skill. He acts on wills and guidelines of party and all of our great prime ministers share one skill. The ability to stand for their decision even if the whole world is against them.

Many times people talk about the dominant character of Modi that he has the tendency to destroy every other leader in his regions. He doesn't incorporate any other leader. He is not a good person for an alliance. He works like a single man army. I think it’s not a negative point instead it’s a great quality. Now we all know what happens when one tries to take care of every other person’s demand. UPA government failed to implement various reforms like FDI, Food Security, women reservation bill and many other just because of the oppose of people in their alliance. In fact many a times, their own party leader opposed their ministers (like Ajay Makan’s proposal of brining BCCI under RTI). So unlike the popular opinion; more diversification in a government brings more instability and lesser productivity. Whereas uni-polar forces always brings solid results like Indra Gandhi’s decision of 71 war or Atal Bihari’s decision of nuclear tests. So a person like Modi, who only cares about his decision and doesn't pay much heed to what the party is saying or what opposition or alliance are saying may bring some much needed reforms in the country which hitherto are not done due to lack of decision making power.

I was just reading some facts about how Muslims have developed and progressed in Gujarat after riots. I don’t know whether the facts are right or not but one thing for sure that no government can continue for 3 runs if they haven’t got support from whole society. There have been no riots in Gujarat after 02 but UPA failed in many riots. The recent one in Assam is an example of failure of congress government. Riots of 84 and 93 happened in congress’s rule. No FIR or cases are running for many riots at least lots of BJP leaders are indeed arrested for Gujarat riots but I won’t get into details of that. Congress has remained a hypocrite in accepting the facts and has given rise to this opportunistic politics where every one can form alliance on the basis of secularism and communalism. No BJP leader ever talk about betterment of Himduism or any think but congress leaders continue to polarize and divide country on the name of religion and create separation by cheap blame games and dirty politics. It’s such a shame to see hypocrisy of Nitish Kumar and JDU these days and the way they are on the same track as Congress, RJD, SP and BSP, dividing the Indian Voters further into hindu, muslims and other minorities. I don’t understand according to what criteria Advani ji is secular but Modi isn’t.

Anyway, in a nutshell, my support to Narendra Modi is plainly because of lack of any other good alternative. Apart from this, he is a man of his words, a standalone leader, and a visionary. Now even European Union and senators of USA are also favoring him. He is connected with ground, popular among the workers of BJP and there is no godfather of him. Rise of Modi is something that has happened gradually. From a tea stall owner, then a worker of RSS, then rise in Gujarat, transfer to Delhi, winning the battle there, coming back to Gujarat and taking power from his own mentor Keshu Bhai and then Gujarat riots and the politics afterwards. He has proved himself on every level. He may not be perfect but I guess he is the best in present circumstances.

PS: Do not wish to provoke any discussion or debate. Just my personal views and I don’t want to get into any argument about how bad Modi is or what he has done or what happened in Gujarat or whatever. 

BYE BYE XP.............. !!!!!

Let me clarify first that I am not making any official announcements of ending of XP (I guess though they have already declared the date for it). I am just writing the post because of all my feelings attached with this operating system with which I have almost spend my entire life so far. Recently I upgraded to windows 7. Now all of you must be using Windows 7 for guess 3 or 4 years so it’s no big deal for you but for some reasons I decided to stick to XP for a really long period and now I am giving up on it eventually.

Now, from where I should start? So many memories are associated with XP. I started working on XP as soon it was launched in market (or as soon it reached Ujjain) and I really enjoyed the change. Everything was so colorful, so bright, everything looked upgraded and new, it was like entering into a complete new dimension. While I started my computer journey with Windows 95, I have learnt most of it with Windows 98. 98 was so simple, basic and easy to use operating system, I always consider it like father of all new modern operating system or more like a switch from basic computing operating system to an entire new generation of operating system supporting multimedia, gaming and other cool stuff.

I still remember the big windows icon that flashed on opening 98. The simple yet elegant start menu and task bar. The simple screen and icons and everything was so simple and the beauty of using 98 always lied in its simplicity and that somehow increased the magnitude of delight on using XP. Everything was fresh and new, bright and cheerful; XP always resembled ‘youth’ as it was full of life and energy. The green start button; the use of ‘TURN OFF’ word instead of ‘SHUT DOWN COMPUTER’; the starting wallpaper showing clouds, mountains and greenery, every change was very positive and appealing to a young child just getting familiar with computers. Even after XP, I used 98 for a relatively large period of time (I finally quit it in 2006) and ever since there was a monopoly of XP in both my desktop and laptop.

Though I indeed switched to windows 7 when it was introduced, but the earlier versions were quite unstable and there was some display driver problem in my version and so I regressed back to XP. I guess I was the only person in my class using XP and many people indeed find it weird but guess other operating systems were never able to make such a profound impact on people’s life as XP did and recently I read somewhere that XP is still in great demand and majority of people still use it. Ironically, I am writing this article on my desktop which is still having XP and as its hardware constraint would never allow it to upgrade, I guess I will always remain in touch with XP. Also, in our college labs every pc is having XP so XP is something that we can never leave permanently for say some more years.

Nowadays most of the people have upgraded to Windows 8 and I guess I will also install it after 3 or 4 years. I am enjoying Windows 7 as of now though I was not very comfortable with it in the first half hour and there was always a tempt to insert the Windows XP Service Pack 2 CD again but some how I get over it.

Kids nowadays are beginning their childhood with computer so I guess they will never understand the thrill of switching from normal video game to a PC game, from Windows 98 to Windows XP, playing GTA Vice City or Age of Empire in your new upgraded operating system and see, feel and enjoy the changes from the old operating system. At times I still miss listening to songs on my 2 speaker in high volume as with laptop we use headphones most of the time. Life is changing from bulky to micro and though the change is convenient sometimes it’s not enjoyable. The upgrades in life will go on but the enjoyments they are going to provide will only decrease in magnitude as we are getting used to the comfort.

Mall vs Mela

At first, this comparison may seem a bit weird and it is indeed weird; but what I am trying is to compare two sources of enjoyment and recreation. Mall represents the choice of modern shining India while Mela is usually the choice of rural India and urban middle and below middle families.  Though we may see some bunch of people both at Malls and Melas who we think doesn’t belong to the respective places.

Mall has gathered widespread publicity in the past decade and it has become favorite place of almost every middle person to the aristocrats. Teenagers like it because it’s a safe and standard meeting place to impress both their friends and ‘beloved ones’. Women like it because it’s a matter of maintaining standard to visit malls for shopping or for nothing. Men like it because they got no choice; they have to comply with their kids and wives. 

Mela existed for a long time and in past its primary purpose was to facilitate business by providing a common place where every useful commodity can be made available. In recent days there is a shift in the trend and apart from a business place Mela has also become a fun place. Common men like it as it’s cheap, it’s a good source of escape from day to day trouble and tension and a good place for a family hangout.

Though the classes of people visiting these places are different but purpose of each class is same. Some fun, some shopping, and an escape from day to day monotonous routine. Children, no matter, whether they are in mall or Mela have the same curiosity and enthusiasm. They want to play; they want to eat; they want to experience everything that the surrounding environment is providing them. Mela usually have speedy and quick entertainment stuff like magician’s show, death well, giant wheels and other kind of thrilling adventures whereas mall has standardized entertainment also; it provides multiplexes, ice skating, bowling, 3-d and virtual reality games etc etc which only rich people can enjoy. A middle class person can only enjoy the view of rich people enjoying these games from outside and he makes firm resolution that one day I will also enjoy life in the same way.  

If I talk from economic point of view, then there is an amazing similarity between shopkeepers of both places. In malls, a major chunk of profit earned by shopkeepers is given as rent and other service taxes so they have to fight real hard to survive in the luxurious competition inside. Scenes of new shops opening in malls, struggling for few days, and shutting down are very common these days. So we may get a feel that people owning a shop in a mall are very rich but we don’t know in reality how well they are doing, and is it sufficient to thrive. Similarly people owning a shop in Mela basically belong to the middle level shop keepers and they also have to give huge rents to local municipality, administrations and bribes to local officers.  There is a limited amount of time to earn profit, and there is excessive competition. I was once watching this shop, they were selling every item for 5rs and I was wondering how much profit they will earn eventually and will it be enough? 

Though the mannerism, clothes, shoes and other accessories may be different for a person having a shop in Mall and Mela but if you closely observe the expressions on their face is almost same. Worried, tensed and hoping that customer will come to their shop and they can continue their struggle. Such kind of partiality can occur only in a country like India where employment means just to increase the quantity and give people a basic medium to survive no matter if it’s not enough to assure any quality life to them. 

It seems peculiar to me, 2 places, completely different yet serving the same purpose and you can trace as many similarities as there are dissimilarities. Ultimately, both places show the human spirit of enjoying the life, having a little fun, a little get together with family and friends after a long time, different colors of life with all possible variations and a perpetual struggle for survival and an attitude of never giving up.

 

An open letter to all IIMs

Dear IIMs,

It’s a sincere appeal from me with a very little expectation that it would be ever read or taken seriously by any concerned authority. I don’t know whether I should call it an appeal, a request, a frustrated letter or something else but I want to express myself so that I won’t have the regret that I also remained silent against a system that was intended to serve me.

Every young Indian has, at some part of his life, lived the big IIM dream, no matter even for a miniature amount of time. Some continued with this dream for a long time, and for some chasing this dream became their life. The comfortable life afterwards, the fat pay packages, the great alumni, the huge infrastructure, secure future; life becomes a paradise once you achieve the big IIM brand.

People who failed to get into a good graduate college see this as an opportunity to wash their previous sins, rectify their old mistakes and to achieve what they thing they truly deserve. Many are willing to work hard to the edge of their potential and even beyond that. Many are willing to sacrifice all the comfort, fun and luxuries of their life for a while just for focusing on their CAT preparation. But the inner fire, the internal source of motivation that ignites one’s spirit and keep on pushing students to work hard fades soon when they realize that this time hard work is not the sole factor.

Many who start their preparation with great enthusiasm, quits in midway, when they realize that there are many factors that will control their admission into a good B school and no matter how well they do in CAT, there will always be some uncertainty. This is the time, when one realizes the worth of board marks and even graduation marks.

Now how many of us really knew that we will try for CAT when we were in 10^th and 12^th?? I don’t think there is much and in fact if there were, who cares at that time. No one has even a faint idea that board marks will be such a huge factor in deciding ones eligibility in an IIM.  

Now what I want to ask all the IIMs is how come board marks decides one’s ability to be a good manager. What’s the relevance?? In 10^th class we have subject like Hindi, English, and Science; how come they are even minutely related to one’s ability to be a good manager? Then comes the 12^th class, be it commerce or be it PCM, how are physics, chemistry related to ones analytical or problem solving ability? I agree that board marks indeed define a certain level of consistency and hard work but I find no sense in laying such a huge stress on them and making them mandatory for admission criteria. They can be given certain weightage but they can’t be a deciding factor.

There is no guarantee that those who secure 90+ in boards are born genius, though, no doubt they are hard working but I guess top institutes generally seek sheer genius in one and not the ability to work hard. Also we can safely assume that those who secure less than 70 can be discarded for admission just because they don’t satisfy these criteria. This is absurd, one bad day or one bad week shouldn’t affect a person’s entire life.

Now we move to the most illogical part. 10^th and 12^th usually have a common system so we can give them some weightage, but graduation marks. It’s like judging on an entire different dimension. It’s like a competition in which there is no common quality or attribute. Every university has different system of checking, teaching and evaluation and graduation percentage may vary due to many stupid things.

One needs to secure at least around 80 for IIM A and around 85 for IIM S. Now 85 in graduation sounds like a joke to me, and in fact it is. I heard that in some universities like Pune University the topper lands at somewhat around 80, so no matter how hard you try you are already out of the race for A and S, that’s height of being unfair.

Besides percentage in graduation varies according to the practical and class work marks, for which, one is at pure mercy of teachers and luck. No matter how talented or hard working one is, the major chunk of practical marks is awarded on one’s ability of sycophancy. So unless IIMs think a good manager most posses the quality of sycophancy I find no plausible reason in giving graduation percentage such a strong preference.

What I find most senseless is IIM ahmedabad’s criteria of providing points. The table is like ( a*b*c+d+e) where a stands for 10^th board marks, b stands for 12^th , c stands for graduation, d stands for masters degree and e stands for work experience. ‘d’ and ‘e’ hardly have any effect on ones selection so let us focus on a, b and c. 60 and above gets 1 point, 70 and above gets 2 point and 80 and above gets 3 point. And for sure shot call you have to secure at least 80+ in all a, b and c else you are doomed. What I find hardly irrational is that one scoring 79.9 gets 2 point while one scoring 80 gets 3. Isn’t this the height of nonsense? Why not give one scoring 79 2.9 points so the system will judge every student fairly. I don’t know why they created such a system where a student’s admission is based on luck than brilliance.

Then other IIMs also joined this non sense, some of the IIMs like Indore completely nullify CAT score in their criteria. So no matter you get 100 percentile, you won’t get a call from IIM Indore if you have sinned in past. Then what’s the sense of taking a different exam?? Making students study vigorously for 3 years and then give them no credit of scoring very high? I don’t know, maybe I am not smart enough to find the reason behind all of this. But how come a person scoring 97 in CAT better than a person scoring 100 just because he got 85+ in boards and the other one got 80+?? Guess our country wants to give a message of preferring mugging our talent.

What I don’t understand is that are IIMs only for formality? To intake certain amount of students having well past records and getting them placed? What about nation building, what about developing future leaders, what about making India a leader in global economy? Why not give a fair chance to all possible leaders and managers by setting fair and plausible criteria where everyone can participate equally in the competition of best B schools in the country. Because of these stupid, senseless and irrational criteria a majority of sheer talent derails soon from IIM pursuit. Some switches to GRE, some other manages to satisfy them by college placements, some other remains happy in the technical line or whatever their graduation field was. So at the end of the day, it’s our country that is losing pure talent which may change the future for good. 

Those who deserves to be in good colleges are wasting their talent and time elsewhere and the crowd which enters IIM, no doubt talented, represents only similar perspective and thought processes. The consistent ones they are and as such bring no creativity to class which could have been brought by the one wasting their time elsewhere. The whole country opposed when board marks were involved in admissions to IITs, even the present pattern is criticized a lot. So why IIM continues with the same pattern I don’t understand. I hope they will change this pattern soon, and give chances to the people with best potential to be upcoming leaders or else we would soon be trapped in a vicious circle of coaching, mugging and parental pressure on children, end result of which will be nothing more than slowing down of our growth and unbalance in our entire education and professional structure.