The night was peaceful, silence unperturbed by the cool
breeze flowing like a soft rhythmic music occasionally getting disturbed by
random noises with no definite source. Two friends were sitting on the roof top
discussing what lies ahead and what to chase. Amidst the chaotic superficial thoughts
of getting admission into a good b-school and fetching a high paying job, the
conversation was now deep enough to hit the core.
There is something mystical about late night talks, especially
those carried after 2 AM. You feel freer and much more relaxed to share your
deeper insecurities, you trust the listener more than the day time. You tend to
converse more with yourself and explore your priorities more in the pretext of
discussing the same with the listener. 2 AM conversations are like meditation,
quiet and subtle, like gently exploring the hidden realities of your life.
The philosophical conversation eventually reached the heart
of the discussion and the question two friends now faced was what they will
earn by getting into a good b school.
“Money, that’s all I am looking forward to, I want to earn,
I want to spend a luxurious life, I want to have expensive foreign vacation, I
want to buy fancy stuff”, said the first friend, his voice steady defeating the
cold wind’s futile attempt to shake it.
“Glory, I want to be known, I want to have an identity, I
want to become an example, an inspiration for others”, said the second friend,
his eyes beaming with the imagination of his glorious days that will come one
day.
“Lots of famous and glorified people have lived a sad life
because of no money, money is the ultimate objective”, uttered the first friend
with full faith in his philosophy.
“Lots of rich people commit suicide and become depress,
money is not everything, with great money comes several other variables that no
one accounts for and which makes a person unhappy”, contrasted the second
friend
“To me, money is happiness”, the first friend took a firm
stand.
“To me, glory is happiness”, said the resolute second
friend.
“Seems like we both are chasing the same goal, our ultimate
objective is to be happy, we have different approach towards it”, said the
first friend in a joyous voice as finally there was some unison in their
thoughts.
“Indeed, I hope once we have chased our dreams we will be
truly happy and we will live a peaceful life”, hoped the second friend.
Both friends chased their dreams, cleared competitive exams,
got into excellent institutes and both received a fair share of glory and money
but as they moved up the ladder they were able to see their illusions fading
out and the reality far more different than what they perceived it to be. As
they inched closer to their goal of money and glory, they found themselves much
distant from their eventual goal of being happy. Their money and their glory
came at the cost of their happiness.
So what is happiness? What is its definition? Who is truly
happy these days? Just close your eyes, take few deep breathes and try to
recall who was the last person you met that claimed to be truly happy, now try
to think about the last time when you felt you were truly happy and how far you
are from that state now. Happiness, so simple a goal yet such a challenging
task, everyone is chasing it but no one is getting close to it. Happiness has
become a mirage, happiness has become a maze, happiness has become a puzzle
which looked very simple initially but with each step towards solution, it
becomes tougher and tougher.
The present generation, popularly and ‘sarcastically’ known
as so called ‘millennials’ is said to be one of the most confused and unhappy
generation who has ever walked on this beautiful planet. One can easily see
loneliness in our social media check-ins with multiple people, the laughs we
have on memes are temporary, we appear cool with our booze and food where we
claim to celebrate life dancing in darkness and random music knowing in
background that we will wake up on Monday morning, mechanically wear our dress
and go to our school/college/office. We wait desperately for weekends and spend
the weekends in fear that they will over soon and we have to face weekdays
again.
We were showed a path by our previous generation, a path to
success, a path to victory, a path to ultimate happiness and we obediently
followed that path killing the painters, musicians, poets, writers, sportsperson
and gamers inside us. We happily clipped our feathers to crawl on a well
calculated and well defined path. We were fed the fact that the darkness of uncertainty
that comes with flexibility of freedom far outweighs it and there is no point
moving in a life of misery. We were shown light and we followed it blindly, we
closed our eyes and shut our brains.
We fell, we were defeated, and we were embarrassed and
insulted countless time. Countless times our faith in ourselves shook but yet
we were never broken. We somehow summoned the courage to put together the
broken pieces to continue to the destination but we were truly broken when we
reached there. Because we didn’t know now what to do, we patiently waited for
happiness but it never came. We were completely dumbfounded by the fact that
our safe and secure jobs, our prestigious educational institutes, our fancy
hobbies do not converted into happiness.
So when we look outside towards children playing on streets
from the cage we ourselves have created, we wonder whether this is happiness or
happiness is the life of that vagabond who has no source of even food or
happiness lies in further success. Everyone we see is unhappy and when someone
says he is happy, we don’t trust him, we believe he is hiding the truth. We don’t
believe in the notion that one can be happy in the present world. Happiness is
always the next step, something that will follow after what we are doing right
now.
So what’s the solution or the question is rather whether a
solution exist or not? I think the answers are always simple, if you are not
doing exercise then do exercise, if you are not studying then study, if you are
not reading then read and if you are not happy then be happy. So why to write a
prolix post if the answer is so simple? I think being happy is like a magicians
trick, it stays unsolvable only till you don’t know the secret but once you
know it you realize it was never that amazing that it looked few seconds back.
It is like a video game mission, you try and fail countless times and when you
finally clear it you can clear it easily any number of time later.
At the same time, I guess it is advisable to finally realize
that no one can stay happy all the time. Life is and will remain complicated, there
will always be ups and downs, highs and lows but the maturity is in realizing
that nothing stays forever. No doubt there will be countless other variables.
There will be toxic work environment, broken relationship, evil people, poor
grades, no promotions, diseases, bad luck and many unforeseen unpredictable circumstances
that will impact your simple equation of being happy. But at the same time
there will be great trips, wonderful people, delicious food, amazing movies,
great books, promotions, next job, recovery from diseases, serendipity. Life
will be balanced and the decision to move from one stage to other will remain
in your hand.
Don’t like your job, leave it and get a new job, can’t get a
new job right now, then wait patiently till the right time and then get a new
job. Getting poor grades, study and try to improve, can’t improve then improve
something else that will compensate for poor grades, single and lonely, try to
meet and interact with new people, can’t even do that, and then learn to be
happy in your own company. You are fat, then exercise and take proper diet, can’t
do that, then stay happy being fat.
I know I am oversimplifying things a lot. But that is my experience
so far, I have chased happiness and crossed long distance. I am still chasing
it. Some days it seems like it is everywhere, some other days I can’t trace it
existence till time eternity. But I have come to realize the fact that I can’t
blame others for the decision I made, I can’t blame any person for my state if I
know that I have the power to change it. I can change both the inner variables
and outer variables, or at least experiment with them than doing nothing.
I think this is about time to take accountability of our
decisions, the decisions that we took that are making us unhappy and how we can
change them and we can help each other to take those decisions that will make a
happier future. Let us extend support to everyone struggling in this mean cruel
world and spread happiness. Be it a small compliment, be it a little help, be
it greeting a stranger good morning with smile, be it sharing your food with
someone who is not that fortunate, be it helping those who are making same
mistakes as ours, be it forgiving people and forgetting bad experiences, be it
taking a break from the path of excellence. I don’t know, there are countless
way I can see to be happy and I know they are simple.
Ending with one of my favorite quotes from Jim Carrey.
“I hope everybody gets rich and famous and have
everything that they have dreamt of, so that they will know that it is not the
answer”
