To all those who hate me ....

Dear haters,

Greetings from my side and a warm welcome!!

I would have preferred a one on one conversation but as it is most unlikely to happen, I thought to address all of you in a single post. First of all, I congratulate the founders who have taken great efforts and hard work to reach such a massive numbers. I appreciate the time you have invested in promoting the brand ‘ bad Mayank ‘, the sheer amount of hours you have put on talking about me, spreading awareness and making sure that even the remotest corner knows the bad deeds of Mayank Sharma. I really wonder, if you have investment the same amount in your own betterment where you all would have reached. So a big thanks from my side, there is a dialogue from the movie ‘American Beauty’ that there is nothing worse than being ordinary, with due thanks to you people I never remained ordinary and that is really a big thing for a person like me for whom identity matters a lot.

Secondly, I would like to discuss a few questions with you though I am not expecting any replies but still I would like to do my part. I agree if you hate me there would be surely a very strong reason for that else it would be just insane to hate any person without a proper reason. May be I have harmed you in some way or maybe you just have heard the prospects of me bringing harm to you and you decided to hate me. I understand that so I would like to raise a question. How many of you I have harmed directly? How many of you are sure about my involvement in a harm that was brought on you? If you have heard I have harmed some person and you started blindly trusting that how many of you bothered to enquire about it at least once? How many of you declared me accused of something you heard I did without even thinking once about other possibilities?

I do agree I might have offended some of you in some way but it was never intentional. May be I was not knowing the context and said something which had deeply hurt you, or maybe I was not at all aware about the things you were fighting with and took things in lightly which I shouldn’t have. I have my flaws and at times there is only a single culprit i.e. situations. Still, instead of remaining silent you could have cleared up things with me, all it required was to tell me that you didn’t like this and I would have tried to not repeat the things that had affected you. How would I know what was offending and hurting you and what was not? What good it brought to both you and me by staying silent, making conclusions in your own head, developing random theories, discussing things with a third person and condemning me. All it required was a little feedback from your side and things might have worked out but still to all those who were hurt by any of my comment, my gesture, something they heard I said, something they heard I did, my sincere apologies, I never meant It and if you would discuss the issue with me I promise never to repeat those mistakes again. I agree I am a fallible guy but I expect you to play the role of bigger person and forgive me for my sins as you must have forgiven other people and must have been forgiven by someone else you hurt.

But if you hate me only because you thought I snatched an opportunity or a person from you. I made it to somewhere which you thought you deserve. Someone by whom you wanted to be praised was praising me or someone with whom you wanted to befriend was a good friend of me, then I can’t help it. Just to match the level, I can’t bring myself down and I don’t expect you to raise your level either. Life is not a competition where we fight for people. I won’t even say the best one deserves the prize as there were times when despite being the best one I lost. I have faced far bitter defeats than you have but I didn’t sulk or started hating people just because I lost. I respect my defeats and I respect myself for the healthy competition I maintained and giving the best I could to win something. Life is a learning not a race. You lose just because you learn experience to win in a bigger race. There would always be victory and defeats but once you lose a person then you lose it, the person that returns after a patch up is never the same that he was, so never lose a person on petty and stupid things. Also, I am not responsible for your failures, in fact no one can be responsible for any other person’s failure, if you failed then either you were wrongly judged or the reason was you and only you, not me. No one has any right to point their figure at me because of their failures; I didn’t sign a contract with anyone to get them through every situation. I help because I like to help, but helping others is not my duty where you can blame me for disappointing you. Never take a person for granted, strange world we live in, people stay on good terms with the fakers and betrayers, but the person who helped you 100 times on cost of his own comfort and progress fails to do so 1 time then he is blamed and made a culprit forever. Getting punished for doing goods is something I learned lately because some people accuse you of giving them expectations when they never asked any help from you and then not helping the next time.

Besides, I am much thankful to people who never let me felt bad about myself. There were times when I literally felt very low and bad because of the way my personal life was made a source of public entertainment but there were some people who always believed in me more than I believe in myself. Luckily my life is like TCS recruitment, there is always an extra addition in the people who consider me good in comparison to those who consider me bad. There are times when I think about completely leaving the social life and to live an isolated aloof and alone life but then these people remind me that I shouldn’t punish all due to crime of some and I shouldn’t punish myself too.

In the past few days, I have met many people who told me that they have heard lots of bad things about me but once they came to know me they realized that they were wrong in judging me beforehand without meeting me. Sometimes I do feel the way I am described behind my back, I am more frightening than lord Voldemort, who knows they won’t even use my name, I am “ he who must not be named” the ultimate villain. I am glad those who came to know me forgave me for the sins I have not done and those who already knew me always made be aware of the things that are running behind my back.

But, what I can’t understand is, we have entered a new phase of our life. A phase which might act as a pillar to our future. What’s the point in random gossiping, blaming, abusing and accusing, why to waste our precious little time in things so petty and which won’t generate any productivity at all? How could people waste their time in such lame things and feel good about it? Lastly, I hate the hypocrisy. If you hate me, then hate me like a man, let me know that you hate me and I would respect you for that. Don’t try to act smart and disguise yourself as my friend and bitch about some other one in front of me? You think I don’t know the names and acts of all the people who are running the ‘Mayank awareness program’ behind my back. But, thanks to all haters, who because of some reason revealed one another’s name and acts and at least I know from whom I should stay away.

There are people who after years of bad mouthing come to me, say sorry and say we were wrong about you, we were immature and we hope you would forgive us. Can you undo the damage you have already done? Because of you and your temporary emotional immature outburst, 10 other people dislike me without any reason and now you expect us to be nice friends just because you admit your fault. There are people who hate me because they think I am just a showoff, even my facebook statuses and blogs look a show off to them. I really had a nice laugh when I see them posting pictures about their new college or new car or putting status about their first salary or getting any other achievement. If you are doing it then you are sharing things with your friends, if I am doing it then I am show off, great logic. If you are posting a poem or a song sung by you, you are sharing your talents and getting acknowledged, if I am doing that then I am trying to prove all other lesser and myself better . I am not the reason the world treated you inferior, it was always you, you made and allowed the world to treat you as inferior. I was always the small town guy, weak in communications and even grammar, I just made my way because I fought, I learned and I improved myself instead of crying every time that the world doesn’t accept me for what I am and it is being unfair to me. It takes courage to stand up and not to cry, it takes strength to stay normal and act calm when your world is falling apart and your soul is getting torn into pieced. You cried every time for your weakness, earned the world’s sympathy and bragging everywhere now about your small achievements and if I stay strong and stay normal then I am just faking strength, I couldn’t be more amused by these logics.

If I have hurt you intentionally and made fun of you for the sake of being a sadist you have full right to hate me and even propagate it. But if you hate me just because you tried to make fun of me and I just defended myself smartly and your plan backfired or you don’t like me putting status or writing a blog or you don’t like me taking some initiative to improve myself as a person and getting praised for it or you hate me just because other people love me or you hate me because it’s a fashion and it’s really cool to hate Mayank and your friends hate me so you also want to join the party, then I have nothing but sympathy for you. Grow up and be mature and I hope one day the world will treat you better. I am not responsible for anyone’s failure or frustration. In Schendler’s List, Schendler tell Amon Goeth that the real power lies not in punishing but in forgiving so I have no intention to take vengeance of whatever bad that has been brought on me but if I have to then I would defend myself and I won’t follow any diplomacy or silence that time.

How many of you know me in general? How many of you have talked to me even for even an hour once? How many of you know my struggles and the challenge I face in life? I am literally proud that I could be of any service to you and could be used as a permanent feature of social entertainment. I am proud by blaming and accusing me, you made your entry into some groups and get huge respect because you hated me the most and tried to humiliate me behind my back in the best manner possible. I am glad that my image could be used to cover your own weakness and drawback and lastly I am glad because of me many who had differences shared a common platform and get united. But do think once that what did you earn? I know many hates me but those who loves love me intensely and had blind trust on me. Even if due to some reasons I stop talking to them they would stay loyal. Do you have any such people with you? How many of your friends would stay loyal to you just in case you are villain zoned by someone as I was by you?

 I know my limits and I know I am not a perfect person. I try to be the best I can. I have been declared both, angel and demon. People have compared me with god and satan. Some says I am the best that has ever happened with them, some says I am the worst that has ever happened with them. Some say I am too nice so I am targeted, some says I have many faults so I am targeted. I don’t know neither I want to know. Social life is just an aspect of my life; I have many things to be bother about. I have no interest in what others are talking, saying or discussing behind my back neither I have any interest in what is happening in others life. I don’t like gossiping or telling something behind someone’s back and neither do I care when my name is dragged in some issues. If people want to hate me they would eventually however nice I may appear to them and if they want to love me then they would no matter if I act as jerk. I am proud of the brutal honesty I live with; I don’t fake or wear any mask just to please someone. If you can deal with it then it’s fine else it’s better to remain at a safer distance with each other and without throwing mud on each other. The time we spend on making dirty someone’s life could be well spent on cleaning ours.

In the end, a special thanks to all those who have defended me in my absence, who remained loyal, who left their diplomacy to some extent just to fight for me. Special thanks to those also who despite being in good terms with their so called friends trusted my maturity and told me everything that always goes on behind the scene. And haters, I promise you I would try to live up to your expectations, even if I want to feel ordinary, you won’t let me, you won’t accept me as a normal guy in your community, so be it. I would try to work hard, work different, work smart and be in the league that is universally hated. Thank you, you all are the biggest motivators, you constantly push me to keep on learning and moving ahead and with all your help and motivation, I hope one day I would reach sky heights so that you can hate me more forever.

PS: I know even this post would be misinterpreted and would be seen as flamboyancy or emotional outburst but I would humbly request try to look out at the positive aspects instead of seeking another reason to initiate a war( of course behind my back).