I am sorry ... am I ??

मेरे मित्र न तेरी चलेगी न मेरी
फिर क्यों तलवारे खीच ले
चल आ गले लग कर
नम आँखों को मींच ले

my facebook status few days back

" Don't let emotions always hover on you... choose the correct market to publicize ur emotions .. mark downfalls on sand so that they remain temporary in ur memories and good experience on stones to have permanent impressions"

The harder you try to flail in the sea of emotions to come out, the deeper you go inside it. Many times I found all my surrounding completely trapped in these emotional tornadoes destructing their mental piece and nerves. I am not an exception either but yet I can proudly brag as I have good control over all my emotions and never let myself to bow down. But some time circumstances become very vehement and you feel helpless. These emotional storms just seize your peace and make you unstable so that you can’t enjoy any essence of joy at that time.

Why these things happen? Not going in too much depth of it but one of the most common reasons is to being hurt by someone close to you. You don’t really bother if someone strange or less familiar act harsh to you but even a single hard step shown by your close one pierces your heart vehemently. You feel helpless at that time keep on thinking why this damn thing happened with me. These emotional wounds and pain make you suffer more than any snake bite, and there is no permanent heeling for them.

The only culprit I found in these circumstances is expectations. We expect a lot from our close ones and when they fail to perform at par, we lost our temper and entangle in emotional assaults. We forgot all the good memories and time that with share with them. All sort of help and other stuff that they have done especially for us and keep on saying “ usne mere sath aisa kyu kiya”. Some revenging people even start planning “ ab batata hu use .. aisa sabak seekhaunga rota rahega jindagi bhar “. We don’t contemplate the situation the way it should be and we can’t blame ourselves as we have lost the control on our nerves. Tears may give temporary relief but soon the intensity of pain increases at an alarming rate till there is a communication gap.

Since past 6 years I have been a favorite victim of this new widespread epidemic. Time to time I have been indulge in this bizarre and worthless activity wasting lots of time and weakening me internally. I never understand why people misinterpret me that much. Some rare monuments of double standard I always found in my social life who think that they can pull my leg as forcefully as they can( come on people it’s not made of rubber) but can’t endure even a touch of mine( d0n’t misinterpret it . I’m not gay) . It always introduces a mental trauma, whether I should socialize or remain aloof. My internal being of superiority always deviate me to opt for later one and 9 out of 10 time I would go with it. Still I call my friends ( no matter whose fault was it , ur or mine ), tell them I am very sorry and you were right to vanish this communication gap and found new bridge of understanding. I place my attitude in side and bow down and I found no harm in it. So I am sorry … am I?? You have to think that.