Finally the most crucial day of my life arrived. It was JEE paper and I was just thinking how I failed to put good efforts during the long 3 year span. Why, I never understand. Was I not eligible or my mind was not set to grasp scientific things. I am not denying my mistakes but then also circumstances never favored me. At least those topics which I had prepared well, I was not having confidence in those one also. I was not ready. I wanted to escape. Just wanted to have a worm hole taking me away for this 6 hours into another dimension. But I had to face it. The JEE paper without any preparation ironically being preparing it for past 3 years.
Soon the paper was given to us. And as expected it was full of surprise. Partial marking and no negative marking in MCQs. The paper once again appeared very familiar except those nasty organic questions. As I had not prepared major portion of organic from any PHD level book I couldn't expect myself to solve those. Some question were data based, this baffled me. I was maintaining a decent pace. I was able to solve more than I expected from myself. But due to bansal's incidences I didn't dare to tick on answers for more than 8 questions. I later found that 6 of them were correct.
Three hours went in a second. I was knowing many other questions also but time didn't allowed me. I wasn't able to gave a single glance to more than 20 question. 3-d vector the topic I had prepared at its very best I wasn't able to solve its questions even after applying 5 different methods. I was frustrated but still was hoping to lie on the boundary after this paper. I had to give my best in the second paper.
I had my migraine tablets with me which I was expected to take in the break. But I didn't take them as I was well that time. With the start of second paper my migraine also started. Just as same year god was willing to punish me for some cardinals sins which I had made in my previous birth. I faced the pain at its highest intensity that day. May be I had taken a lot of stress on myself due to expectations of friends and family and of mine also. I wasn't able to focus. Some how I struggled and kept on doing questions. I was finding various difficulties and a vomit like feeling was also aiding to my trouble.To aid in my difficulties almost 80% of the physics paper was from those 4 topics which I had left and maths had lots of complex number stuff the only topic in which I was weak. Some how I finished the paper and was expecting to be on boundary of the cut off. Those rascals had also misprinted in the OMR physics for maths and vice versa which confused us.
I was writhing in pain when I reached home. I took my tablets and went for a sound sleep. I woke up around 9 pm to check my destiny. My expectations and joy collapsed like the world trade center. All the questions which I had expected to do right were aiding in negative only. And how by forgetting multiplying by 2, drawing right structure in rough but ticking the wrong one , assuming nickel's atomic number as 27 instead of 28, not counting the number of bonds properly and many such silly mistakes which I used to commit in bansal test I had done here also. I was living my nightmare ones again. A total of 95 marks silly mistake I had done which can definitely assure my entry into an IIT.
I celebrated my sorrow for 1 day but soon got charged for the next exams. VITEEE was on 17 april and EEE was on 25. Their was some hope of a re-exam due to lots of mistake which IIT madras had done this hope continued to inspire me till the jee result declaration. I decided to give my best efforts and perform well on those exams. Meanwhile started ayurvedic treatment for my migraine. It restricted me a lot from preparing well but some how I finished the basics of all the uncovered topics. Didn't paid much heed to VITEEE but before EEE I completed all the theory and questions from NCERT and some other books so was happy and relieved.
With some initial problems of finding the center I reached their and started praying for a 10k rank. The paper started and my horror of screwing exam returned. I had already taken migraine tablets this time but was not sure of those stupid silly mistakes. I kept on checking even the calculations after doing each problem which screwed my pace. I was able to solve only the half paper. Rest questions were also very easy and If I might get half more hours I might be able to do 30 more questions. I calculated the marks later and they were coming less than 140.
At that time I had decided to prepare for my bitsat test which was on 24th may. I had planned to finish magnetism and modern physics from some standard books but later I changed my plan. I thought I had already screwed 3 exams and their is no chance of getting a good college from those so I must work hard to do well in my state PET which was on next week. For the first time I studied really hard and consistently for more than 12 hours a day regularly for a week. I finished whole the revision from books and bansal notes and done well in my state pet.
Now the only exam left was BITSAT. BITS pilani the college which I admired more than IIT. My dream college it was since 12th as it had no reservation and super campus culture. I was just googling their forum ones and found that all the students which managed to get around 280 marks had scored high (250+) in aieee. I was worried as according to my present status I might end up with screwing bitsat exam too. I realized the primary mistake of mine during all exams were not to solve their previous years paper. So this time I started doing guess papers alongside revision.
I screwed the first few getting not more than 180. It increased my worries a lot. But I tried hard and started hard working and revising more and more. All was well till 18 when my time table got screwed as I wasn't able to sleep properly. Those late night wakings hovered my complete day and I quit the study once again but at this time I was in the most confident and relieved state. The day came , the day of freedom . my last competitive exam of the year. The paper seemed very easy at first and I was doing fine till maths section arrived. I stuck at a question and to much of my bad luck same question pattern repeated thrice times. The clock declared 11:30 and I was now free.
I had attempted 122 question in 2 and half hour after the accident of only 44 questions in AIEEE paper in 3 hours which was relieving. I was expecting 280+ score which would assure my entry into bits but it came only 230. This time I wasn't shocked as I was already familiar with this kinds of situation before. The splendor had ended. I failed to gain a position in any national level college. But I wasn't unhappy or depressed. Although I wasn't prepared for such kind of situations and never had imagined myself in a local college but I adopted soon. I hadn't lost myself by this. I reassembled my soul and confidence and started thinking positive again. Enjoyed the next days sleeping, facebooking and playing cricket. That's all about my past 3 year life.
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