Monday, July 26, 2010

Some early shocks.....

The basic portion continued very well and I was able to tune up with them but soon the problem started when the teachers started the higher level. As I was not coached properly and all the other students sitting there were those unlucky fellows which had completed and revised their syllabus very well last year and were there due to their bad luck. I had to look in more than 3 books to understand a single lecture.Even I was finding tough to directly solve the questions of maths and had to do some home work from some standard books to compete with others.

This was one of my first mistake in bansal. As what you are expect to do at bansal is to hear the lecture with concentration and then solve their homework. But I used to stick with lots of books to first read theory and then solve the questions in the book and then go to bansal homework. Soon the bansal's top pace left me behind and I was struggling to even understand the lectures. Meanwhile the bihari fellow in front of my room was creating problem for all of us. He played loud music with his Chinese mobile always and We were disturbing a lot. Now daily frequent collisions of our land lord and those Delhi boys and music boy was common. One day uncle thrown their luggage out of his house, the first stark terror in our face had come. This was the real face of Uncle and he had given us a clear massage to follow his rules else we'll be also thrown out.

Meanwhile We used to have lots of bizarre discussion on many futile topics. We hadn't wasted any time of wasting our time. The most common topics were criticizing bansal, our mess , planning how to spoil the house when we'll depart. The first test was announced on 11th July and I was struggling for a good revision. I had completed maths syllabus but not even half of physics and chemistry. The test was very easy and I was thinking I had done well. Initially my marks calculated were 110 which were tOo cOol but later when I checked it myself they were only 60. The rank was around 1900 and I was not a very happy man. I was burning in introspection and resolution. Not only my preparation was not well but I had done 40 marks silly mistake. I didn't watched a 2 and forgot to cancel 10 with it, such type of silly mistake made me lost my mental stability. The second test on the basis of which we were going to be shuffled was on 26th July. I had done much better in it and got 134 marks but so did the others and my rank slipped to 1529. The legacy of incomplete course and silly mistake continued in this also. To much of my astonishment I was promoted to X8 two batch above my present batch.

I was very happy as 2 years back X8 batch was a guarantee of success in IIT and AIEEE. But I forgot the fact that 2 years back Bansal used to admit only 6k students with around 75 students in a single batch and this year it had admitted more than 25k with around 140 students in each batch. Meanwhile lots of good faculties were leaving in the running session and they were not recruiting good standardize faculty. So we were suffering from severe faculty problem. X8 batch had OK OK teacher. They got the talent of making lecture interesting by jokes and other interesting facts that they used to tell us.Some good faculties lectures were flooded and we have to sat with 4 people on a bench of 3. I worked hard on maths during the 3rd test and completed some of the remaining chemistry portion. But physics the subject in which I had secured almost double marks in previous test became a head ache for me. I was struggling to solve a single question and the teacher there was delivering the lecture very fast.

I always used to suffer from a strange shyness while sitting in class room. It always restricts me for asking question. Wherever I had studied till now I always got this peculiar feeling that I didn't deserve to be here and I had much less potential than the fellow students. I had decided to overcome this introvert nature in bansal but the teachers here had already crushed my new born confidence by making bully of all the students that asked silly questions. I was going to ask for hybridization to a teacher and just before he quoted " you people are knowing hybridization na ... back in Y4 some students were not knowing it .. think how will they manage to study for JEE... you are the students of X10 and you must be knowing all the basic stuff beforehand. Same thing was in X8 our physics teacher also hyped us a lot " x8 ke student hokar aisa question puchte ho . last year ka x8 kitna phodu tha pata hai ".

I completed my whole maths homework before the third test but was knowing beforehand that I'll screw the physics portion. The paper was very lengthy and I made a sprawling silly mistakes of 60 marked ended with 2351 rank and in a very depressing stage. I was not prepared for all this. I hadn't imagined myself below a rank of 500 before and now I was down to 2300. I lost my hope and confidence and remained in a stark depression for a week. But some how I stood again and started from the basics to give it another try.

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